In Vodka there is Truth
by lexie823
Summary: Flynn's musings durring that long, long night in the bunker just post 2.6, after he let Lucy into his room and she was lost to the realm of vodka induced sleep. Not really a Garcy shipper but I have a feeling that could be where this ends up.
1. Chapter 1

_Author's Note: I'm fully intending to add a couple more chapters to Bleeding Out but Garcia Flynn just kept rattling around in my brain. He just wouldn't let go until I put some of this down on the page. I intend to add more chapters that explore Garcia's complex relationship with Lucy and will attempt to help him figure out his feelings towards her. I'm not a Garcy shipper and yet I have a feeling that is the direction that this is headed in. I just really wanted to convey the multi-faceted character that is Garcia Flynn. While he has taken many lives and done some horrible things, he does have a curious sense of morality. And he is currently taking far better care of Lucy than my boy Wyatt. Although I suspect after watching 2.6 Wyatt is starting to have some doubts about his choice._

First Meetings

Garcia Flynn looked at Lucy tucked safely into the cot across from his lost to the realm of vodka induced sleep. They had just spent the last few hours talking about everything and nothing. He felt content, no make that happy. He felt happy for the first time in longer than he cared to remember. He meant what he told Lucy on their mission to Texas, he wanted to get to know her. In many ways he felt like he already did. Her journal had been very honest and open, at least on some topics. And yet in others, he wasn't quite sure. This Lucy was slightly different from journal Lucy. Perhaps because she hadn't yet begun writing the journal and journal Lucy was somewhat distanced, at least by time, from the Lucy that lay before him.

She looked so peaceful in sleep. Finally able to relax and let go of some of the pain that she felt over her mother, her biological father, almost dying, and most importantly of all, Wyatt. _Stupid ass_ he thinks to himself. Doesn't Wyatt know what he is throwing away? How could he not see the absolute treasure that was right in front of him. Garcia did. Lucy was so warm and caring. So giving, willing to think of everyone else before herself. Even himself. After all the horrible things that he had done, she still thought him possible of redemption. He wasn't sure that he believed it but Lucy did.

"Wyatt" Lucy muttered.

Damn that man. _Does Wyatt have to follow her even in dreams. Is there no where that she can be free of him._ Garcia had never liked the other man. Had somehow been irritated by the closeness that had developed between them as mission after mission had thrown them together. Now it was all Garcia could do to not punch Wyatt. Rubbing Jessica in Lucy's face day after day and then expecting Lucy to laugh and joke and look at him the way she had prior to Jessica's return from the dead. _Was Wyatt honestly that clueless?_ It didn't help Garcia's mood any to think about how Wyatt frequently followed Lucy with his eyes and the way he looked at her was far from the look of a concerned teammate and friend. _Couldn't Wyatt see that she was barely holding it together?_ He could and that's why he wanted to be there for her. He might not be able to fix everything that had gone wrong in Lucy's life but he could be a shoulder for her to cry on, a support when she needed it. And he vowed he would keep her safe.

Garcia looked up, drawn from his musings by a distressed sound from Lucy. She was tossing and turning on the cot. Her relaxed expression had disappeared only to be replaced by one of anxiety and fear. Small wonders she had nightmares given all that had occurred. He was at her side in an instant. He said her name and hesitantly shook her trying to wake her up to no avail. He gently pushed her hair away from her face and said her name again. This time she calmed slightly. Garcia liked the thought that his voice could calm her. The nightmare hadn't completely left her but she was starting to calm. She didn't wake as he carefully lifted her into his lap and cradled her in his arms. He might not be able to do much for her but Garcia could keep the nightmares from returning tonight. So he sat and held her in his arms and thought about how far they had come from when he first met her. Well journal Lucy.

XXXXXXXXXX

 _Three and a half years ago -_

Garcia Flynn wasn't a perfect man. Somedays he didn't even think he was a particularly good man, but he loved his wife and daughter. His girls. He smiled to himself at the memory, they had been his whole world. Garcia had devoted himself to making them happy. He delighted in seeing his wife's smile and hearing his daughter's giggles. When that world ended in the quick burst of four silenced gunshots in the middle of the night, he tumbled into an endless void of pain and darkness.

After finding out that Rittenhouse was responsible for the murder of his family, Garcia vowed vengeance. He might not be able to bring his wife and daughter back but he would make it his mission in life to dismantle the organization that responsible for their deaths. If it took him the rest of his life, Garcia would make them pay.

One night about six months after he lost Lorenna and Iris, a woman he'd never met showed up at the door of the rat trap of an apartment that was his current home. In a disinterested almost clinical way Garcia catalogued her. Slim, brunette, brown eyes, delicate bone structure, classically beautiful and not a threat. It took his mind mere seconds to make that determination. Garia tucked the gun that he had hidden from view in the hand not resting on the door back into the waistband of his jeans and surreptitiously pulled his shirt down to cover it. He needn't have bothered. The woman was so anxious and distracted that she hadn't noticed a thing. Garcia wondered what she wanted. If she was in trouble. _Not his problem._ And how fast he could be rid of her.

" _Can I come in? It's important"_

Well modulated voice, educated, and slightly hesitant. Garcia couldn't help himself from noticing everything about this woman. She was such a change from the bleakness of his days and the torment of his nights that he swung the door open and was motioning her into his apartment before his brain registered the decision. Or had time to second guess it. Once she was inside he fixed her with a questioning stare as if to ask what the hell she was doing here,

" _You don't know me but I've come here to help you"_ the woman said earnestly. Her big eyes fixed on his silently entreating him to believe her.

" _Help me? How? With what? If you don't even know me ho do you know I need help?"_

His voice was harsh. Garcia knew he sounded like an asshole but couldn't help himself. How could this dainty woman possibly help him? _Well there is one way …_ a little voice inside his brain taunted, however that was crude. He hadn't been interested in sex since Lorenna died. And now he really was a first class asshole. First for letting his mind go there with this unknown woman and second, for thinking, even momentarily, about sex with anyone else but his wife.

The woman let out a harsh laugh.

" _I said you didn't know me. I never said I didn't know you."_

Garcia was instantly on guard. He had dismissed her as not a threat but perhaps he was mistaken. Lord knows he'd been mistaken before and it had cost him everything.

" _Rittenhouse. I know what they took from you. How they murdered Lorenna and Iris. I can help you bring them down."_

He froze at the mention of Rittenhouse. Garcia didn't think he even took a breath as she made the rest of her shocking statement. Couldn't help the involuntary flinch at the mention of his wife and daughter's names. He didn't believe her but if there was the slightest chance that she could help him then he had to listen to her, whatever nonsense she said.

" _I think perhaps you'd best sit down and tell me everything. Now."_

This was said not as a request but as an order. His accent was stronger that usual. It always was during times of strong emotions. Anger. Fear. Intimacy. All made him forget to enunciate clearly and took him back to the language of his birth. _How long, Garcia wondered, before I start speaking in Croatian. It won't take much._

" _You're going to need this."_

She sat and slowly and carefully, to illustrate that she meant no harm, reached into the pocket of her coat and brought out a book. With both hands she held it to her chest briefly before passing it to him. It was small and leather bound with the initials LP embossed in slightly faded gold print on the right hand corner of the cover.

" _Who's LP?"_ He lifted a questioning gaze at her.

" _Me. Lucy Preston"_ and held her hand out to him as if this was just a normal introduction.

Garcia hesitated briefly before grasping her hand in his much larger one. Again he was shocked. Despite the delicateness of her had, her grip was strong, solid, and warm. He was momentarily startled. Surprised that she was real and not some figment of his grief warped vengeance seeking brain. He held her hand a few moments longer that strictly necessary before dropping it as if burned.

" _And how is this"_ raising the book " _supposed to help me?"_ he sardonically asked.

" _It's my journal. It will guide you. Tell you what you need to do in order to end Rittenhouse."_

" _And you know this_ _how_ _?"_

With the slight emphasis on the word how, Garcia's assholishness was making itself known again. Somehow he didn't really care.

" _Are you Rittenhouse? How do you know how to bring them down? And if you know then why haven't you done it?_

Garcia fired question after question at this woman without giving her a chance to speak. He wanted some damn answers.

" _Maybe you really are Rittenhouse and this is a trap. Perhaps I should just kill you and burn this."_

Garcia's voice had dropped low. It's tone soft, cold, and deadly. But rather than looking afraid of him, she simply sat and fixed him with a knowing stare.

" _Are you done now? Can we move past you trying to intimidate me and get down to business? I don't have long and there are things you need to know."_

Garcia just looked at her in amazement. This woman had some snark of her own. What happened to the anxious woman who had knocked on his door just a short time ago? She should have been frightened. Should have been on her feet backing quickly towards the door. He was close to a foot taller than her and had a good ninety pounds on her, perhaps more. He was quick, well trained, and deadly. Garcia had killed before, when his life was in danger, and no doubt would do so again. He would kill the woman in front of him should it be necessary but he really hoped it wouldn't. He abhorred violence in general, towards women especially, and found himself oddly reluctant to even consider hurting her. It was the ease she displayed in his presence, even after his threats, and the calm and certainty in her eyes that had him nodding his head in the affirmative and agreeing to hear her out.

Lucy took a deep breath and began.

" _This will sound crazy but I'm from the future. Your future. Rittenhouse built a time machine, or rather, they built two time machines, in order to go back in time and change things in their favor. I know you are aware of Rittenhouse is engaged in some shady dealings and that passing on that information to your NSA contact is what lead Rittenhouse to you and got your wife and daughter killed."_

Lucy noticed Garcia's wince of pain at her last statement and tied to offer him what comfort she could to a man who viewed her as a stranger.

" _Garcia, you couldn't know. Yes, your actions started off a chain of events that culminated in the death of your family but you aren't responsible. You didn't, and still don't, know how wide-spread and strong Rittenhouse is. How quickly and viciously they act to stamp out anything that they perceive to be the slightest threat."_

He just shook his head no and Lucy knows that he won't believe her. That Garcia Flynn will continue to bear the weight of the murder of his wife and child for many years to come. Still she tries to offer comfort one more time.

" _I know you don't believe me now but you couldn't have predicted or prevented what happened. Your family wouldn't want you to blame yourself. If you let it, your grief and your feelings of guilt will turn you into a bitter man. I've seen it happen. It could even turn you into a monster and they wouldn't want that either. Garcia, promise me you'll at least consider what I've said after I've gone."_

Garcia couldn't believe how sincerely this stranger was about trying to ease his pain. How much compassion and care her found in her deep brown eyes. Couldn't believe that he was again nodding yes and agreeing to consider forgiving himself for the unforgivable. Shocked, he sat back and tried to keep an open mind about the fantastical tale this woman was telling.

Lucy nodded back and continued on.

" _Rittenhouse is an organization that is centuries old. From the founding of our country and before, they have been behind the scenes pulling the strings of power and controlling, or trying to control, the way the world runs. The have a seriously warped version of what the perfect world looks like and are fanatically committed to doing anything,_ _anything_ _, to make that vision a reality. They are more dangerous than you could possibly imagine."_

" _So if they are this 'all powerful' secret society then how could you or I ever hope to bring them down?"_

Once again Garcia was finding this all a little hard to accept.

" _They aren't 'all powerful.' Once upon a time they were but not now. In your future and my more recent past, Rittenhouse realized that they were starting to lose control and decided to create a time machine to regain their former power. They bankrolled Mason Industries to invent and build it. They actually built two and you are going to steal the one they call the Mothership."_

Garcia's sarcasm was now out in full force.

" _Okay, let's say I believe you and time travel is real, Mason Industries is huge. If they are building a time machine, Conor Mason is going to have some serious security protocols in place. From all his press, he doesn't come across as a man who takes things lightly."_

Lucy simply shrugged her shoulders before continuing on.

" _He isn't. He's really rather ruthless. Focussed on using what and who he needs to get what he wants yet shockingly naive and clueless about the ramifications of his actions."_

" _You almost sound like you know him."_

" _I do."_ Such a simple statement.

" _In your future, after you steal the Mothership, I will be brought in by the NSA and Mason Industries to work with a specialized team. Our mission will be to stop you and recover the Mothership."_

Lucy gives him a moment to digest all that she has said then moves on to the rest of the information that Garcia needs to know.

" _You're right, you don't do it alone. The journal has some information on your known and suspected accomplices. You'll have an inside man that will make the theft possible."_

 _"So I just what, find myself some henchmen and steal this Mothership? Then what?"_

Garcia just shakes his head and thinks to himself that it was like some insane mix of National Treasure, or maybe The DaVinci Code, and a really bad sci-fi movie.

Nonplused by his disbelief Lucy just continues on with her narrative.

" _Rittenhouse's plan is to use the Mothership to go back to key points in history and either eliminate those individuals they believe to be a threat to their future, recruit additional influential figures, or aid those who could strengthen them. If Rittenhouse succeeds the world as we know it will change. And_ _not_ _for the better."_

Lucy leans forward as if being closer to him physically will somehow make this more believable. She holds his gaze, eyes pleading with Garcia to believe her and do as she asks.

" _That's why you have to steal the Mothership. For a time, you and I, you and my team will work against each other but then we will realize that Rittenhouse is our common enemy. We will work together to bring them down."_

Garcia also leans forward. Crowding into Lucy's space. Trying to convey with his physical presence the sheer insanity of her tale. He somehow knows she's hiding something and tries to intimidate her into telling him the full story, not just the parts that she feels he needs to know.

" _If we're going to work together anyway, let's skip the chase. Why not stay and work together now? I mean wouldn't we just end Rittenhouse sooner?"_

Lucy shakes her head no.

" _I can't. Time travel is a tricky thing. We still don't fully understand it but we do know that bad things happen when you cross a timeline where you already exist. That's why I can't stay long. I already exist in this timeline but we felt that the benefit of me coming back, talking to you, giving your this information and the journal far outweigh the potential risks. And believe me Garcia, they are big risks. I didn't list everything in the journal, it's too dangerous for you to have all the information. That alone could change things. And if I wrote all of it down and Rittenhouse got ahold of the journal that would be disastrous."_

Garcia stands. He's had enough. It's some sort of delusion on her part and he refuses to listen to another minute of it.

" _Well thanks Lucy. Pleasure meeting you. It's been, shall we say, entertaining, but I think it's time we call it a night."_

The sarcasm in his voice is now so heavy it's practically dripping from his mouth in huge drops. Creating deep puddles of disbelief and anger on the floor for her to wade through as he moves her toward the door.

Once she's in the doorway, Lucy turns to face him once more.

" _I know you don't believe me or any of this right now but please, read the journal. I can offer you some proof that what I say is true. You once told me that, after your family was killed, you were betrayed by someone you trusted. You never told me that person's name, just that they tipped Rittenhouse off to where you were living. Two nights from now, Rittenhouse will send a team here to try to kill you. In my timeline you told me you barely escaped. Try to act normally and not tip them off but don't be here when they come."_

With that Lucy turned and walked down the hall and out of his life. Garcia knew he would never see her again. That she was just some pretty, yet crazy, woman. But when he returned to the couch and found her journal still lying there and he couldn't resist opening it and beginning to read. He fell asleep reading, the journal resting open on his chest as dawn slowly broke.

At work the next day Garcia couldn't help but think about Lucy's, after reading a good portion of the journal she was Lucy to him, visit and what she had said. What she had asked of him. It wasn't like the work occupied much of his mind. He'd always been good at fixing things and repairing cars was as natural to him as breathing. He could do it in his sleep. He had plenty of time to ruminate on the Lucy's words, those from the journal and those said in person.

Of all the things that Lucy had said, he kept coming back to her statement about someone that he trusted betraying him. These days Garcia trusted very few people and he couldn't imagine any of them handing him over to Rittenhouse. Yet Lucy had been so sincere despite his obvious disbelief that he found himself wanting to trust her.

That night he decided that he just couldn't take the chance that she was right. So before he left for work the next morning, he packed all the items that were essential to him. A photo of Lorenna and Iris, all the documents for his false identities, his guns, the limited information he had compiled on Rittenhouse, and Lucy's journal went into a beat up duffle bag.

He stashed the duffle in a locker at the train station and went to work just like normal. After work he returned home just like normal and puttered around his apartment eating dinner and watching tv, waiting for it to be dark. Once it was dark, he turned off the lights as if going to bed and then snuck out of his apartment. Through the binoculars on a rooftop a block from his apartment Garcia watched as the team from Rittenhouse broke into his apartment. Before Rittenhouse had finished searching his apartment building, he had retrieved his belongings and was on his way out of the area.

He laid low for several months. It took Garcia several more months to make the necessary contacts, find his accomplices, and formulate his plan but everything was nearly ready. During that time, he read Lucy's journal repeatedly. He practically had it committed to memory. Even after all the research that he'd done about the events mentioned in the journal, Garcia felt compelled to return to it. To see Lucy's distinctive handwriting. A mixture of printing and cursive unique to her. He was amazed at the feeling of intimacy that reading her words evoked. Lucy wrote about her missions but she also wrote about her family, the changes in her timeline that gave her a fake fiance and erased her sister, her team, her pain and the betrayals that lead to that pain. She gave him her innermost thoughts and Garcia wasn't quite sure how he felt about that.

He would see her soon. The Mothership was ready, tested and perfected. In three days he would pretend to kidnap Anthony and steal it. Then they would head back to 1937 and the Hindenburg. Maybe seeing Lucy again would help clarify all the confusion that he was feeling.

Garcia wished he knew what about the Hindenburg mission had lead to Lucy's sister Amy failing to exist. The journal hadn't been clear on that point, just that Lucy returned home to a healthy mom, a sister vanished from time, and a fiance she didn't know. If he could, Garcia would spare her that pain. Unfortunately the only thing that was clear from the journal was that he prevented the initial Hindenburg disaster, the one he knew from history books back when he had been in school, so that he could blow it up along with several key members of Rittenhouse on it's return voyage. Journal Lucy seemed to believe that he, Garcia, believed that by doing this he would bring back his wife and daughter. He didn't know if that was possible but he hoped it was. He would give everything he possessed, including his soul, for them to be alive again.

The only other thing that was abundantly clear from the journal was that he & Lucy would chase each other through time at cross purposes for many more missions before beginning to work together. Garcia vowed that he would try to get her alone. Try to convince her that she and her team should work with him now. Perhaps if he could do that then some of the future danger, pain, and heartache could be avoided.

XXXXXXXXXX

 _May 6, 1937 Manchester Township, New Jersey_

He had done it. Garcia and Anthony had successfully stolen the Mothership and were now, along with two others from his team, in 1937. Anthony had remained with the time machine while he and the others headed to the tavern where extra workers for the airfield were hired. Once there, he had no trouble getting himself and team hired. With his natural air of authority he had no trouble convincing the rest of the ground crew to wrap the mooring ropes around their arms rather than letting them drag along the wet ground.

Once they had safely landed the Hindenburg, one of his crew told Garcia that they saw Lucy and two other men amongst the crowd. From what his man said, Lucy and her team, Wyatt and Rufus he recalled from the journal, were looking for him. They had told the authorities that he was ill with Spanish Flu and a danger to the crowd. Damn it, Garcia really wanted to speak to her but he couldn't risk getting caught. He wanted to search for her but thought it best to send his men to look while he waited somewhere hidden from view.

Garcia waited impatiently for his men to return. He couldn't wait to see Lucy again. He needed to convince her to work with him now rather than at some point in the future. Just then one of his men returned and informed Garcia that their teammate was dead. The man had been shot by Wyatt after attempting to abduct Lucy. Garcia couldn't contain his frustration. Damn that woman. Lucy told him that they would be at cross purposes but he didn't believe she would pose this much of a problem. He didn't want to hurt her or her team, not if he didn't have to. His man said Lucy and her team had taken refuge in one of the hangers at the airfield. It was a simple enough matter to call in a tip to the police. Inform them of a murder that just took place. From the journal Garcia new that Wyatt was a soldier with Delta Force. Surely the man could think of someway to get them out of jail. He didn't want them hung for murder, just safely out of the way while he set the next part of his plan in motion.

Garcia watched as the Hindenburg burst into flames and crashed towards the ground a few minutes after take off. It had already been lowering turning and lowering altitude as if it were preparing to land again and he knew that Lucy was somehow behind this. Apparently Wyatt was more ingenious than he thought. He began to scan the wreckage and survivors for Lucy. He really needed to talk with her. Now if Lucy would just listen to reason.

As if fate had scripted the moment, Lucy walked right past him, attempting to dodge some of the flaming debris that was still falling from the sky. Garcia grabbed her. He was going to have that conversation now.

" _It's time we talked. You need to understand who and what you're dealing with"_

Fuck! She looked terrified of him. Lucy, the one who visited him a year and a half ago to give him her journal, told him that the team had been told that he was a wanted criminal but nothing more than that. Garcia wondered what she had been told to make her that afraid of him.

" _I understand that you're a psychopath trying to burn everything to the ground."_

" _Well that depends on your point of view Lucy."_

He moved towards her slowly and kept his voice calm. Trying to be as non-threatening as possible. He couldn't help but notice how her fear and anger caused her big brown eyes to sparkle. From the glow of the fires all around them, he could see that anger had brought color to her cheeks. Lucy looked so alive.

" _How do you know my name?"_

" _I know everything about you. Your father's dead. You think you're meant to follow in your mother's footsteps, but you don't really want to. You wanna know how I know?"_

Garcia pulled out her journal and opened it to a random page. Keeping his eyes on Lucy he held the open journal out to her so she could see her own handwriting filling the pages.

" _That's my handwriting, but … I didn't write that."_

" _Not yet. But you will."_

Ignoring her cry of disbelief, Garcia continued on.

" _I know what you're really meant to be and it isn't a teacher."_

" _Why would I believe anything from someone who killed their own family."_

Now he knew what Lucy had been told. Why she was afraid of him. He knew it wasn't true. He knew that one day Lucy would also believe in his innocence, yet hearing her name him a murderer hurt more than he believed possible. Garcia thought that he had already been hurt so badly, lost so much, that it would be impossible for him to feel anymore pain but the hurt caused by Lucy's condemnation of him proved that theory wrong. Still, he had to convince Lucy to work with him. To plant some seeds of doubt in her mind about what she was being told.

" _Just ask them why they really chose you for this mission. Ask them what Rittenhouse is."_

" _Rittenhouse?"_

Garcia grabbed her as he saw Wyatt approaching them, gun drawn. He pulled Lucy back tight against his body, one vice like arm preventing her escape, the other holding his gun on Wyatt. Inside his mind was screaming ' _I'm sorry. So sorry. I won't really hurt you.'_

" _I know for a fact that you're not gonna shoot."_

" _Wyatt."_

Lucy's voice was a mere whisper yet it conveyed her terror. He wished that he could look her in the eye and reassure her but he needed to convince Wyatt to let him go and using Lucy as a hostage was the only way that would happen. He anxiously watched Wyatt debate his options wondering if he would really make it out of this.

Garcia heard the shot a second before he felt a searing white hot pain in his shoulder. He pulled the trigger but Wyatt was too quick and dodged out of the way. He flung Lucy towards Wyatt and ran in the opposite direction, barely noticing the blonde that his bullet hit instead. He couldn't think of it just then but later, once he was safe Garcia felt guilt, anger, pain and sorrow for the innocent life he had accidentally taken. He damned Wyatt for that action. He damned Lucy. But he damned himself most of all.

XXXXXXXXXX

 _Present day_

Lucy stirred slightly in his arms and Garcia shifted her more comfortably against his body. Pulled the blankets back up over her so she wouldn't be cold. She must have knocked them off while he was lost in thoughts of their first meetings. Stared down at the woman in his arms as he remembered the rage he felt towards her on that long ago night. Decades had passed since then and yet, in reality, it was only a couple of years. It wasn't rage that he felt towards her now. He still didn't know what it was but he couldn't stand the thought of Lucy in pain or discomfort. So he would hold her until morning, keep her nightmares at bay, and try to unravel the complex puzzle of feelings that this woman evoked.


	2. What's In A Name

_Author's Note: IMO Garcia Flynn is an incredibly complex character. Very flawed but not all bad. I have tried to illustrate this by the way he views himself. Garcia for the good and Flynn for the bad. In chapter one, even with Journal Lucy, he still sees himself as Garcia. It's not until he starts on his mission to end Rittenhouse and starts committing crimes, justifying his actions with the belief that it is worth it if it allows him to take down Rittenhouse. At points during Garcia's flashback's, he is thinking as Garcia, not Flynn and thus the change in names. I have those points marked in a different font._

What's In A Name

Garcia's smile was tender as he gazed down at Lucy as she nuzzled closer into him in her sleep. The change in position brought Lucy's hand up to his chest, palm flattened out over his heart. _So she's a cuddler_. That's something the journal hadn't told him. Something he found he could get used to. He couldn't remember the last time someone had touched him without anger, violence, or both in mind. If he was honest with himself, that person was probably Lucy. They had been quick impersonal touches as she took his hand when he helped her into the Lifeboat or grabbed his arm to keep herself from falling but it was more than he had previously had. This however was something different, something more. Lucy's current position and relaxed state indicated a new level of trust between them. _Well, okay trust and perhaps the vodka._

It's like Lucy was slowly turning him back into Garcia, gentling the part of him that was Flynn. That was a monster. That's how he saw himself. A monster. But somehow she managed to see around the monster and find the broken pieces of the man he'd been before the gunshots had shattered his life. She made Garcia see those pieces inside of himself and that gave him just the slightest hope that he might not be eternally damned. He hadn't realized how much he needed that.

Journal Lucy had also found those broken pieces and used the name his mother gave him when she spoke to him. Perhaps that was why it had been so hard when the Lucy lying in his arms addressed him as Flynn. Garcia had niaevely expected her to have the same innate understanding and insight into him that journal Lucy did. _Foolish really._ Journal Lucy clearly had the benefit of a much longer association with him whereas she had been told that he murdered his family. Still, she had finally begun to see him as Garcia and refer to him as such. In many ways it was a monumental victory after all that this Lucy had seen him do. God he hoped that lasted. Didn't know if he could bare it if she returned to calling him Flynn. Garcia remembered the feeling of it the first time and knew it would be a thousand times worse if they regressed to that now.

XXXXXXXXXX

 _September 25, 1780_

The first time she called him Flynn, he had just killed a man right in front of her. David Rittenhouse, an evil man. He had convinced himself that killing Rittenhouse would end the organization before it really got started, bring back his family, and prevent so many other bad things from happening. After listening to Rittenhouse's son John speak about his father's beliefs, Flynn determined that the boy must die as well. He didn't want to kill the child but he must. It was for the greater good. He was engaged in a frantic search around the room for John when Lucy called out to him.

" _Flynn!"_

Flynn knew that Lucy would never allow this so he shut the doors to the room where he had just committed murder, shoved a sword through the handles, and trapped Wyatt, Rufus, and Lucy inside. Killing the boy was necessary but that didn't mean she should have to witness it. He didn't want Lucy to be haunted by those images. Lord knew it would haunt him as well but he could not see another way. Still, if Lucy was ever going to work with him, she could not see him kill as child. He should have knowing Wyatt would break them out.

Garcia was glad now that he hesitated. That he had needed a moment to steel himself before he took the life of an innocent. It allowed Lucy time find them and stand between himself and John. She had been so brave.

" _Move."_

" _No."_

It wasn't the first time Flynn had held a gun pointed at her and it wouldn't be the last, yet this time was the moment that stood out from all the others. Perhaps because she had fought for his soul despite being repulsed by him and his actions.

" _I'm not letting you kill a child."_

" _He's all that's left of Rittenhouse."_

Flynn pleaded with her. He needed Lucy to understand that this was the only way. Why couldn't she see that.

" _You don't know that. He said there were others. You don't know that killing his son will change anything."_

Lucy had tried to reason with him while he was in the grip of madness. So far gone that he could only focus on one thing, killing the child.

" _He wants what his father wants."_

" _When you were twelve you wanted to be a cowboy. People change,"_

Garcia still couldn't believe that he had shared that youthful fancy with her. Lucy had a way of drawing things out of him. Not that he was the only one, she had that particular talent with Wyatt also.

" _He's gonna do terrible things."_

" _Why? Because his father wants him to? You have a choice right now. We all have choices. We can decide - we can decide to be something different."_

She was breaking through his madness. Reaching that part of him that had once been a father and Flynn hated her for it even as he listed.

" _Please, no, please. Please don't do this, please."_

She was begging him for the life of someone that she should have viewed as an enemy. How one person could have so much compassion he would never know.

" _You - you said - you said that you couldn't be a father after what you've done. But you can, okay? You can. You_ _can_ _. But_ _not_ _if you do this. Please, please."_

Lucy was using his own words against him. Using his self loathing and fear of what he'd become to talk him down. To turn him away from what he thought, at the time, was the right decision. Dangling the promise of a new life with his family before him so he would do as she asked and it enraged him. He saw red, felt a white hot surge of anger flow through him. Flynn wanted to wrap his hand around her throat to stop her flow of words.

" _Get out of my way."_

His hesitation and her words had allowed John the time to escape and now he was so relieved that the boy got away. Lucy had been right. If he had killed the boy the last part of him that was Garcia would also have died. But that's not how he saw it at his time.

Infuriated at the boy's escape and himself for listening to her, Flynn wanted to make her pay. Dragged her kicking and screaming away from her friends and family. Held her hostage to his hate.

XXXXXXXXXX

 _Present day_

Garcia looked down again at the sleeping woman. _Oh Lucy, you shouldn't be in my arms right now. My actions that day should have guaranteed that you would never feel safe anywhere near me._ He was so grateful that despite all his flaws Lucy had been able to move past those memories. Forgiveness was too much to expect but he could always hope. In the meantime, he would make sure that he did nothing that would frighten her. He would be her support. Her friend.

" _Garcia?"_

Lost in his own thoughts he failed to notice that Lucy had woken up and was now staring blearily up at him.

" _You fell asleep."_

" _Fell asleep or passed out?"_

Well she definitely had a sense of humor.

" _Fell asleep. But the vodka probably helped. You had a nightmare. I couldn't get you to wake up but you calmed down when I held you so … Perhaps passed out is the correct term afterall."_

Garcia hoped Lucy would focus on that last bit and forget about the part where he had been holding her throughout the night.

" _You've been holding me like this all night? You couldn't have got much sleep sitting up like that. Let me move so you can try to get a bit of sleep."_

He should have known that Lucy would ignore his pitiful attempt at humor and call him out on his actions. Realistically he could have just held her until she calmed and then gently settled her back onto the cot but once she was in his arms Garcia found that he didn't want to let her go. Still didn't if he was being brutally honest.

" _I'm fine. You should try for a bit more sleep yourself. We've got at least an hour before we have to be up."_

To his surprise Lucy snuggled back down into his arms and closed her eyes. In a few moments she was once again sleeping soundly. As he let out a sigh of contentment Garcia thought that the fates were at last smiling down on him, at least for tonight.


	3. Promises Broken In Anger

_Author's Note: I saw a few of the promo scenes for 2.7 and just had to run with it. Can't wait to see how it plays out on screen but here is my take on what leads up to Wyatt and Garcia's confrontation in the bathroom._

 _Promises Broken In Anger_

" _Lucy, Lucy wake up."_

" _Mmmmmm, don't wanna. Comfortable."_

Garcia smiled. So Lucy thought he was comfortable. He tucked that little tidbit of information away for future thought. Much as he enjoyed having her here, he was fairly sure she would not want the other members of their happy little family to know where she spent the night. He was quite sure that she wouldn't want Wyatt to know where she spent the night. That would definitely not be good. He knew that Wyatt was glad his wife was once again walking the face of the earth but he somehow thought the other man was finding married life slightly less blissful than remembered. Garcia saw the looks Wyatt gave Lucy. Saw how hurt Wyatt was everytime Lucy walked away or told him to go find Jessica. Not that Garcia cared overly much for the other man's feelings, he could sympathize somewhat, but if Wyatt knew Lucy had been here with him all night, Wyatt would, politely speaking, lose his shit. And he would not allow Wyatt to hassel Lucy. She'd been through enough at Wyatt's hands already.

" _What time is it?"_

" _A little before 6:30. I figured you might want to be out of here before everyone else is up."_

" _Yeah, probably for the best."_

Garcia immediately felt the loss of Lucy as she left his arms and stood. He followed her as she made her way to the door. Halfway through the door she stopped but didn't turn.

" _Garcia, thank you."_

As she started to move forward once again, he gently took Lucy by the shoulders and turned her to face him. When she wouldn't meet his eyes, Garcia cupped her cheek and lifted her face so he could look into her eyes.

" _Anytime_ _, Lucy. I mean it. Now go."_

Garcia just hoped that Lucy knew how much he meant it.

XXXXXXXXXX

Breakfast was both pleasant and awkward. Pleasant in that he was able to laugh and joke with Lucy. Enjoyable as he, Lucy, Rufus, and Mason told Jiya, Jessica, _and Wyatt_ , all about their adventures with Robert Johnson in 1936 Texas. Jiya and Jessica asked numerous questions, fascinated by the idea that the time team actually helped to record one of the greatest blues albums of all time. Curious to know what Johnson was like and if he had really sold his soul to the devil in exchanged for his talent. Mason was the only one who knew the answer to that and he was not volunteering any information. Awkward in that Wyatt spent the entire meal trying to catch Lucy's eye, draw her into a more private conversation, or staring at her like she was the answer to a prayer. When he wasn't focused on Lucy, Wyatt looked like he wanted to commit murder. Garcia was pretty sure he knew who Wyatt wanted to kill.

Unable to take anymore, Wyatt slammed away from the table muttering something about taking a shower. Garcia felt bad for Jessica. He could tell that she sensed the strange undercurrent of emotions that had been present throughout the meal. He wasn't sure, but figured that Jessica was probably aware of the reason for all of the tension when she excused herself not long after. Still, Rufus and Jiya remained pleasant to him so, again, he was making some progress.

Garcia was on the roster for meal clean up along with Lucy and he was glad. She'd seemed fine during breakfast but he wanted to make sure that she was okay with last night. Not that anything happened exactly, but still, between the sharing of memories and secrets and the fact that she'd spent most of the night in his arms, something intimate had occurred between them.

" _Lucy, I don't really know how to ask this but - are you okay with last night?"_

" _What?"_

" _I just wanted to make sure that I didn't do anything that made you feel uncomfortable. I wouldn't ever want to do that."_

Lucy just looked at him for a moment before closing the distance between them. She looked up at him and smiled. Warmth shining in her eyes.

" _Garcia, nothing you did made me feel uncomfortable. In fact, right now you seem to be the only one in this hell hole that is concerned about my comfort. So thank you."_

XXXXXXXXXX

Garcia was still smiling at the memory of Lucy's words as he headed down the hallway. He was whistling slightly as he entered the bathroom. That stopped as soon as he fully entered and saw the man standing at the sink. Wyatt. Damn. He took a deep breath, vowed that he would do nothing to mar the fragile almost peace in the bunker, and moved forward again.

" _Any hot water left?'_

" _Stay the hell away from her!"_

Fuck it! Six words. That was all it took for Garcia's vow to be forgotten. The man had no claim on Lucy. None. Jessica was his wife and Wyatt made sure the whole bunker knew it via the noises that came from their room on a nightly basis. While part of Garcia felt sympathy for Wyatt, what an impossible situation it was, how hard it must have been to walk away from Lucy, another part of him hated Wyatt. Hated him for getting his wife back. A chance that Garcia had been selling his soul for, mission by mission, for the last two years. It didn't matter that Garcia would never allow himself to stay with her, he still desperately wanted to step out of the time machine and find that Lorena and Iris were alive. Hated him for how he was rubbing his attempts to fix his marriage in Lucy's face. Hated him for still loving Lucy and not being able to let her go.

" _Oh, you mean Lucy? You know she's_ _not_ _your wife right? That's the, ah, blond lady just down the hall, unless history's changed again."_

Garcia couldn't resist taunting Wyatt. Smirking as he reminded the man just who was and was not his wife.

Wyatt looked up into the mirror and met Garcia's eyes. The look in Wyatt's deadly serious.

" _I'm warning you."_

" _What is it you want from her Wyatt? 'Cause if you have a problem, I suggest you talk to Lucy about it. She's perfectly capable of making her own choices. Don't you think?"_

Determined not to let this come to blows, Garcia walked towards the shower and away from Wyatt. He didn't look up again until he heard Wyatt slam out of the bathroom. Could have gone worse he supposed.

As the thin trickle of lukewarm water streamed down his body, he felt his anger, that had begun to calm, start to grow again. Only this time it was at himself, not Wyatt. All his resolve to not allow Wyatt to hassle Lucy gone up in smoke. Garcia's taunting was supposed to show Wyatt that Lucy had chosen to walk away from him. That he, Garcia, was the one Lucy was choosing to associate with. In all likelihood, what he had done instead was to send Wyatt straight for Lucy.


	4. Hard Truths

_A/N: So there is a rather a lot on Wyatt and Lucy in this chapter but there really wasn't a way to avoid it. Currently Lucy is stuck in between what was with Wyatt and what could be with Garcia._

Hard Truths

 _Bunker, Present Day_

Still angry, at both himself and Wyatt, after their argument in the shower, Garcia stalked around his room, slamming things down as he finished getting ready for the day. He missed Lucy. Had missed her from the second she left his room. Some part of Garcia acknowledged that missing someone this acutely after such a short absence meant that his feelings had gone well beyond friendship.

Last night had been wonderful. He enjoyed getting to know the parts of Lucy that her journal hadn't enlightened him about. He wanted to spend more time with her, uncover more of her quirks. If the journal, and Lucy's notes to him in that journal, were to be believed, Garcia would come to know this Lucy much better. One of the other things that journal Lucy had written to him was to not share these notes with present day Lucy, his Lucy. Journal Lucy said that it was important to both of them that his Lucy make her own choices unburdened by the knowledge of her future, _potential future,_ he reminded himself, choices. That was why he had removed several pages prior to returning the journal to Lucy. He guessed that she hadn't brought herself to read it yet or he would have heard about those missing pages. Of that he was sure.

Garcia still didn't know how he felt about the messages that journal Lucy had left for him. He was pretty sure that future him hadn't read them. Initially when he did, he was angry. Journal Lucy had intrigued him when they met, Garcia admitted that much, but at the time there was _no_ way he could see himself with anyone but Lorena. One of the things that journal Lucy stressed in that first message was that the future wasn't set in stone. Things could be changed. Another reason for Lucy to not know about those messages. But he was the only one that was burdened with the knowledge of what they one day could be. _Would be?_ Garcia really wasn't sure how to refer to the relationship described in the journal.

Garcia could finally acknowledge, to himself at least, that his emotional investment in his relationship with Lucy was growing rapidly, but he still wasn't sure if he was ready to move on from the past. Until he did, he wouldn't allow himself to start anything with Lucy. He'd be damned if he treated her like Wyatt. When he made a move it would be because his whole being was committed to a relationship with Lucy. That is assuming she let him. Assuming she could move beyond her feelings for Wyatt. Garcia could see, even without the insight of her thoughts in the journal, how deeply Lucy loved the other man. That was why it was so important to him that Lucy know nothing about her future messages to him in the journal. If Lucy ever decided to be with him, Garcia needed to know that it was because she chose to be with him in this reality. Not because she was lead there by the words of her future self from a different timeline.

Resolved, yet somehow unsatisfied, he decided to leave things as they were. He would continue to work on getting to know Lucy. He would be her friend. Give her whatever she needed from him. Although he wasn't quite sure how he would handle it if what she needed was Wyatt. And with that happy thought, Garcia resolved to get on with his day. The sooner he left his room, the sooner he could see Lucy. He knew that giving her too much space right now would undo all of the progress he'd made last night.

XXXXXXXXXX

When the alarm signaling that the Mothership had jumped blared, the team was dispersed throughout the bunker, intent on their tasks for the day. Garcia had been helping Lucy research any changes to history from Rittenhouse's recent missions. Wyatt had stormed off to God knows where after finding them working together. Jessica was busily taking inventory and putting together a shopping list for Agent Christopher. Rufus and Jiya had their heads together bent over a computer working on some sort of coding issue that he could never hope to understand. He had no idea where Mason and Agent Christopher were but within seconds of the alarm everyone had converged on the makeshift mission control set up in the largest room of the bunker.

Jiya, quick as always, hit a few keys on her keyboard and provided the team with what they needed to know.

" _They went to March 4, 1919, New York."_

Wyatt immediately looked to Lucy, confident as always in her ability to prep the team with all the necessary historical facts. Despite everything that was going on between them, he knew she wouldn't let the team down.

" _New York 1919, what happened?"_

" _March 4? That was Woodrow WIlson's last day in the United States before traveling to Paris to negotiate the Treaty of Versailles."_

After some discussion of Rittenhouse's possible motives, the team was ready to head out.

Lucy, Rufus, and Wyatt immediately raced up the steps to the Lifeboat. Wyatt going without a thought or word to his wife. Rufus and Lucy were already inside and Wyatt was just starting to push the stairs away when Garcia hit the first step.

" _Whoa, whoa, whoa."_

Wyatt glared at him and continued to try to push the stairs away.

" _Where do you think you're going?"_

" _1919"_

" _Yeah, we're good, thanks."_

Hostility was evident in Wyatt's every word. He gave no sign of relenting and started back down the stairs to continue arguing with Garcia.

" _Wyatt."_

Agent Christopher's tone was a warning. She did not want to deal with this right now. The team needed to get going.

Jessica stared on, watching the unfolding scene, anxious and somewhat resigned to what she was witnessing. She was pretty sure that she knew what this was all about. Jessica saw how solicitous Flynn was of Lucy and how crazy it made her husband. Oh, Wyatt tried to hide it, but she could always tell when he was feeling jealous of Lucy and Flynn. Wyatt would be extra sweet to her, even more generous than usual in bed, as if to make up for his focus on another woman. It was how Jessica had discovered Wyatt's first affair. Although she knew there was nothing currently going on between her husband and the petite historian, Jessica knew there must have been something between them in their original timeline. When he returned from this latest mission, she fully expected that Wyatt would act the same way, just as he had been doing for the last couple of weeks. Clearly she would have to monitor the situation closely. It could become useful.

" _Uh, yeah. We're a team already. We're the Beatles. We don't need Yoko."_

Garcia just shook his head in disgust. Sarcasm out in full force as he responded to the younger man.

" _You do realize there were_ _four_ _members of the Beatles don't you?"_

Wyatt just glared at Garcia, barely registering as Agent Christophertried to reason with him.

" _We've got four seats now and you can use the backup. We're not leaving one empty."_

Never one to be put off or deterred in any way, Wyatt had a quick comeback for that one.

" _Well bring Mason."_

Standing behind Jiya, Mason let out a sound of amusement, both with the situation and the suggestion.

" _Uh, how do I put this?"_

" _Hell no."_ Jiya, frustrated by the situation, struggled not to express her thought that Wyatt was being an ass.

" _Yeah"_ Mason nods his head in agreement, a smirk on his face as he watched Wyatt realize that his maneuvering wouldn't work.

Agent Christopher silently mused that perhaps Mason wasn't as oblivious as they all thought he was. But all she did was issue her command thus ending the debate.

" _Flynn is going._ _End_ _of discussion."_

Victorious, Garcia smiled and made his way up the stairs. He shrugged his shoulders apologetically and told Wyatt _"She's the boss."_

 _High road_ Garcia told himself. _Y_ _ou got what you wanted. You're going on the mission with Lucy. Take the high road._

The high road lasted exactly three steps. As Garcia drew even with Wyatt he leaned into him. Mock whispered _"Oh, don't forget to say goodbye to your wife."_

Garcia smiled and pointed behind them, helpfully indicating to Wyatt just who his wife is. Because, as their conversation in the bathroom that morning clearly indicated, Wyatt seemed to be forgetting that a lot lately.

Wyatt sighed defeatedly. With a decided slump to his shoulders he turned around to give Jessica a sheepish smile and a half-hearted wave. He boarded the time machine mentally telling himself that he'll do better. He'll remember that Jess should be, _is, Jess is,_ his first concern. It's just that Wyatt can't erase the sight that has been plaguing him all day. The sight of Lucy, disheveled and gorgeous, leaving Flynn's bedroom early that morning.

XXXXXXXXXX

 _March 4, 1919, New York City_

No sooner than the time traveling quartet entered the lobby of the York Hotel, they heard gunshots. Startled, they, along with a lobby-full of others, looked frantically around and tried to assess which direction the danger was coming from. Garcia and Wyatt both sprinted ahead. Put themselves between danger and the rest of their team. Between danger and Lucy. Both looking for Emma and any other Rittenhouse members that she might have brought along. Ready to neutralize the threat that she presented.

Unable to find Emma, Wyatt and Garcia found themselves back in the lobby with Rufus and Lucy. Police and reporters everywhere. Forced to wait with everyone else to find out what just occurred. Something that neither man was good at. This resulted in yet another disagreement between the two over which of them would go find out what happened.

Lucy, who was seriously annoyed with them both, hurried off in the direction of the nearest police officer.

" _Excuse me. Excuse me Officer. Was President Wilson shot?"_

The officer looked over his shoulder and addressed Garcia, who had quickly followed Lucy.

" _Sir, please control your wife."_

For once eager to play his assigned role, Garcia stepped into Lucy and placed a husbandly, guiding hand on her back. Before "helping" Lucy back to the others, he managed to inquire _"Excuse me Officer. What happened with President Wilson?"_

" _The President is safe. There is no more information at this time."_

Lucy sighed with relief and allowed Garcia to lead her away. She was disgusted by the time and the archaic view that she is, should be, nothing more than a sheltered, pampered piece of property. _Poor Rufus_ , she thought. _As bad as_ _this is for me, it's ten times worse for him, just like most of our missions. Sometimes history just sucks._

A reporter strolled past and Lucy managed to extract the necessary information from him. It was Senator Wadsworth, not President Wilson, that had been shot. According to the reporter, Alice Paul, a "militant suffragette" was arrested. Lucy hurriedly explained Alice Paul's importance to the suffragette movement. Garcia and Wyatt reverted back to bickering but eventually they had a plan. Rufus and Garcia will head out to find Emma and the sleeper agent. Lucy and Wyatt will head to the police station and get Alice out of jail. As they walked away, Garcia looked back at Lucy. Gave her a questioning look, silently asking if she would be okay. He didn't want to leave Lucy alone with Wyatt, afraid, after their argument in the bathroom, the other man would hassel Lucy about him. It wasn't until Lucy nodded and made a shooing motion with her hands that Garcia followed Rufus. He didn't like it, but he would trust Lucy to know her own mind. If she felt that she would be okay then he would have to let her go.

XXXXXXXXXX

 _Police Precinct, New York City_

The police desk sergeant had been rude and spectacularly unhelpful but his mention of Sherlock Holmes seemed to jogg something in Lucy's memory. She was instantly moving down the hallway at a fast clip leaving Wyatt to trail in her wake. He tried to get her attention so they could talk but she was either oblivious or ignoring him and Lucy was never oblivious.

 _Damn that woman and her stubborn nature_ thought Wyatt. He really needed to talk, actually talk, not the weird polite facades of conversations that they had been having lately, to Lucy. He needed to tell her about the encounter with her mother. How he couldn't take the shot, despite Agent Christopher's order, because he knew how devastated Lucy would be. He needed to tell her how much he missed her. How he hated not talking to her. Wyatt needed to man up and tell Lucy how he felt about her. He didn't know what, if anything, it would change, but he needed Lucy to know. Feeling those bullets hit his flack jacket yesterday brought home to Wyatt just how quickly things could change. He wanted Lucy to know in case … Wyatt reached out and made one last attempt to stop her but she was already sliding through the door to Grace Humiston's office. All he could do was sigh and follow her.

Wyatt was still reeling from his internal dialogue and what he had almost admitted, at least to himself, when Mrs. Humiston started making her deductions.

" _Sorry, I don't take romantic disputes. If you want my advice, you have better things to do than waste your time and keen intellect on a married man, even if he is a soldier and a war hero."_

The first words out of Grace Humiston's mouth didn't endear her to Wyatt. How dare "Mrs. Sherlock Holmes" tell Lucy that she was wasting her time on him. She didn't even know him, know Lucy. When Wyatt asked, Grace explained how she knew he was a soldier, but he just had to ask how she knew the rest.

" _You're wearing a wedding ring; she's not. She's trying to keep her distance from you. You're trying to get closer. And I'm betting he didn't tell you about the wife either, but that one's just a guess."_

Wyatt really didn't like Grace Humiston. Didn't really like hearing the truths that she was spouting. But it was true. Lucy had been pulling away from him. Not just today but ever since Jess had come back. He was still so happy that Jess was alive and he wanted his marriage to work. Wanted it to be the way he remembered it but he couldn't make himself let go of Lucy.

Lucy was relieved that Grace took Alice's case. Alice didn't say much when they visited her in her cell but it must have been enough to convince Grace. Now she and Wyatt were impatiently waiting for Grace to question the investigating detective. Lucy couldn't stop pacing, between the need to get Alice freed and the uncomfortable tension between her and Wyatt, she was almost to the end of her rope. She hoped things were going better for Garcia and Rufus. Honestly, what the hell was Wyatt's problem? She was sick of these angry wounded looks he kept giving her so she forced him into saying what was on his mind. Perhaps not her wisest idea.

" _You wanna talk, fine, let's talk. I saw you this morning."_

Lucy flinched from the anger in his voice. Fuck. This wasn't good. Still she didn't have to explain anything to him.

" _Saw me what?"_

" _Coming out of Flynn's room. Flynn, for God's sakes. The terrorist who spent all last year trying to kill us? Look, I know the Jessica thing was a little unexpected and - and maybe you're on the rebound or something -"_

Unexpected. Rebound. He had some nerve.

" _Rebound? I'm sorry, from what? Our one-night relationship?"_

Wyatt couldn't hide the pain Lucy's words caused him, which just made her angrier. He somehow knew this and tried to backpedal but the damage was done.

" _That is not what I meant. I just meant that you are making a big mistake."_

At the moment I'm not so sure Garcia is the mistake from where I'm standing thought Lucy. Somehow she managed to not let that thought escape her lips. Instead she merely told Wyatt the reality of their situation.

" _What I do and who I do it with is none of your damn business."_

Their argument just went on and on. Lucy wished that she had been the one to go with Garcia. Rufus and Wyatt could have tried to free Alice and investigated her murder. At least with Garcia Lucy wouldn't have to worry about her heart getting trampled in the process. Ever since he had joined them in the bunker, Garcia had been nothing but kind to her. Now she and Wyatt were fighting about the fact that she would have to be the one to give Alice's speech.

" _I'm not gonna let you get hurt."_

She couldn't do it anymore. How could Wyatt be so damn clueless? Lucy was done worrying about his feelings. He needed to know how his choice made her feel.

" _Little late for that."_

" _What's that supposed to mean?"_

" _Okay, look, Wyatt, I have tried really hard to seperate whatever's going on between us from the work that we have to do but you are not making it easy."_

" _You think this has been easy for me?"_

" _You got the love of your life back, Wyatt, and I got the rug pulled out from under me_ _again_ _. So I would really appreciate it if you would stop acting like you were the one that got screwed!"_

There was really nothing more to say. Lucy stormed off. She had a speech to give. Wyatt, terrified that something was going to happen to her and stuck close behind her. He didn't know how to deal with Lucy's anger but he'd be damned if he let anything happen to her before they had a chance to work things out.

XXXXXXXXXX

 _Bunker, Present Day_

All in all, it was a bruised and battered group that stumbled out of the time machine. Rufus, physically injured from the beating given by the police in 1919. Wyatt, emotionally reeling from his fear for Lucy's safety, Mrs Humiston's assessment, and Lucy's own words. When he reached the bottom of the stairs and Jessica wrapped him in her arms and kissed him, he almost surrendered to the comfort and familiarity of her warmth. But he couldn't stop himself from looking back at Lucy. When he saw her expression, he pulled away from Jessica and lead her away from Lucy's view. Still the damage had been done. Lucy felt yet another part of her heart break watching them.

Garcia hurt watching Lucy's pain. He wanted to go after her but knew she needed some time. He wanted to go and punch Wyatt for his thoughtlessness but knew Lucy would hate that. He wanted to take her in his arms. Feel her body against his. Reassure himself that she was unharmed physically and do his best to soothe her emotional pain. He forced himself to walk down the stairs, down the hallway, away from Lucy and towards the privacy of his room. Garcia realized that he needed some time as well. His fear for her on this mission, his need to take away her pain, the desire to run his hands through her hair, caress her cheek, feel her against him made him realize some hard truths about just how deep his feelings for her ran. He needed to get himself back under control before he went to find her.


	5. Dreams and Nightmares

Dreams and Nightmares

 _Bunker, present day_

It had been roughly four hours since the team had returned from 1919. Garcia had been in his room, aching to see Lucy and make sure she was alright, and trying to get himself under control. When they had first landed, he didn't trust himself not to punch Wyatt if he remained in the other man's company for a moment longer. Didn't trust himself not to caress Lucy's soft cheek, pull her into his arms, lift her mouth to his, and force her to see that there was someone other than Wyatt who lov- _cared for her_. Instead he fled to his room, almost the second that they had landed and paced until he had himself under some semblance of control.

His control was as good as it was ever going to get. His need to see Lucy overrode anything else. Garcia was out of his room and moving down the hall before he had time to second guess himself.

He stopped short when he saw her uncomfortably curled on the bunker's miserable excuse for a sofa fast asleep. Quietly, so as not to wake her, Garcia made his way over to the coffee table and sat down facing Lucy. _Christ, I really am acting like a lovesick fool._ Still that didn't stop him from sitting there and just watching her sleep like her own personal guardian angel. _Yeah, guardian angel, that sounds way better than stalker._ His inner self doubt was feeling extra verbose tonight.

Garcia had just tucked the blanket back around Lucy's shoulders and placed a lingering kiss to her forehead when Agent Christopher found them. He cursed to himself when he realized that she had witnessed his display of unguarded tenderness. Still, Garcia straightened and met Christopher's gaze head on and allowed her to see the naked emotion on his face and the desire in his eyes for Lucy. He wasn't ashamed of how he felt, but he was reluctant to be so vulnerable before a woman who viewed him as little more than a necessary evil.

Agent Christopher held his gaze for a few moments before speaking.

"Flynn we need to talk."

Garcia sighed, gave Lucy's cheek one last caress, before standing and following Agent Christopher to her makeshift office down the hall. Once inside, he leaned against the wall and prepared himself for the coming lecture.

"What I'm about to say goes no further than this room."

He nodded his head. Not what he was expecting but if this meant they weren't going to discuss what the Homeland Security Agent had just witnessed, Garcia was grateful.

"Earlier today Mason discovered something on a Rittenhouse hard drive that he managed to reconstruct. I don't know what it means yet but I feel that someone else in the bunker should be aware. I've known for a while that you care about Lucy"

 _Well apparently they were going to discuss this. Great._

"and so that makes you the logical one to tell. Jessica Logan's picture was found in one of the files on the Rittenhouse hard drive. Mason is working on recovering more of the files, which will hopefully provide us with an explanation, but given Rittenhouse's desire to take out Lucy, I don't think we can be too careful."

Garcia's blood ran cold at the idea of what Agent Christopher was suggesting. The idea of Lucy living in such close proximity to a Rittenhouse agent for the last few weeks made him want lock her in his room and never let her leave. Or to remove Jessica from the bunker at gunpoint. He felt short of breath when he considered all the things that could have happened.

"Flynn this could be nothing -"

"But you don't really think so do you?"

In his years working for the NSA, Garcia had gotten good at reading people. He knew Denise Christopher didn't think that Jessica Logan was just an innocent victim of Rittenhouse surveillance any more than he did.

"No, I don't. But until we know for sure and decide on how to deal with it, I want Lucy to have extra protection. I think you can provide that. I don't want Jiya, Rufus, or Lucy to know. I'm not sure that they would be able to act naturally around Jessica if they knew."

He gave a quick nod agreeing with her assessment.

"It should go without saying that until we have definitive proof, Wyatt can know nothing about this."

 _Damn Wyatt Logan. If he hadn't been such an insensitive reckless ass, Lucy wouldn't be in danger right now._

"Flynn, I need your word on this. I don't want this information being used in one of your pissing contests with Wyatt."

 _Well, it wasn't overly flattering but it was an accurate description of both his and Wyatt's behavior._ He didn't bother to speak, just gave another quick nod.

"I think you should probably move Lucy to your room for the night."

"She can have my room for good. I'll camp out on the floor outside my door. I don't want to make Lucy feel uncomfortable. I'll just tell the others that I'm taking the couch."

"I'll leave that up to you. When you're not with Lucy, either Mason or myself will try to be."

"Okay. I think we should also work on some self defense training. We can disguise it by including Rufus, Jiya, and Mason, probably best to add Jessica in as well. Wyatt and I can take turns teaching them. You should make that suggestion. Wyatt's not likely to go along with any of my ideas."

"Good point. I'll bring it up at tomorrow's team meeting."

Garcia just nodded and turned to leave the room.

"Flynn, thank you. And try not to worry too much, we won't let anything happen to her."

This time Agent Christopher's expression was full of understanding. Garcia simply nodded once more and went to carry a sleeping Lucy to his room.

XXXXXXXXX

Garcia's head hit the door with a solid think. He had just settled Lucy into his cot and left her sleeping. She hadn't woken when he picked her up but she stirred when he was halfway to his room.

"Garcia?"

"Sshh. Go back to sleep. I'm just moving you somewhere more comfortable."

"kay."

And with that she snuggled back into his arms and closed her eyes. Half awake Lucy was just too damn adorable for his comfort. Which was why he hadn't lingered in his room. Contenting himself with another kiss to her forehead, he fled to his current position. He closed his eyes and tried to get some rest. Tomorrow was soon enough to figure out a way to convince Lucy to take his room.

Garcia was racing through the woods. He had finally found a musket at the home of Abiah Franklin's sister. It was starting to grow dark. He didn't know how much time he had before the fanatical Puritan's started executing the supposed 'witches.' He had to get to Lucy. If anything happened to her, he couldn't … he wasn't going to let anything happen. He would save her, and Rufus.

Just up ahead he could see flickering light and hear voices. Oh God, that was Lucy's name. Flynn stopped and peered around a tree at the edge of the clearing. She was at the top of a small wooden platform, noose around her neck. The charges of witchcraft were being read out against her by the prosecutor. He shouldered the musket and fired and missed.

Oh, God. Lucy was swinging. Garcia raced into the clearing swinging the stock of the musket like a weapon. He had to get to her. He could see that Rufus had managed to free himself and was also fighting his way towards Lucy. It seemed to take forever to reach her. Flynn didn't think he had ever been so scared in his life.

Garcia grasped Lucy around the legs to support her weight while Rufus cut her down. He gently cradled Lucy in his arms and felt for a pulse. Nothing. It had taken him too long to reach her. This couldn't be right. Lucy wasn't supposed to die. They were going to work together, be together. Her journal, this wasn't the way it was supposed to happen. The world receded as Garcia held Lucy in his arms, mourning the loss of …

He woke with a gasp. Heart racing, a cold sweat covering his body, his heart could still feel the fathoms of pain caused by Lucy's loss. Of her beauty, passion, intelligence. _Just a dream. That's all it was, a dream._ _She's just on the other side of the door._

Even knowing that it wasn't real, that Lucy was safe, asleep in his bed, Garcia couldn't relax. She was the one person left on this earth that he loved. In the privacy of his own thoughts he could admit that he, Garcia Flynn loved Lucy Preston. He just hoped that he got the chance to show her. Tell her.

XXXXXXXXXX

 _Flynn's bedroom, Bunker, Present Day_

Lucy sighed. The fire in Heddy's guest house cast a golden glow around the room. The sheets so soft and inviting. The body of the man currently wrapped around her was so warm, strong, and hard. His lips ghosted from her cheek down to the base of her neck. Large hands caressed her breasts, slid down to her hips, up her thighs, setting her body on fire.

Their moans echoed off the walls as skin slid on skin. His mouth feasted on hers. Lucy's hands slid through his dark hair as his big frame covered hers. His thrusts filling her completely.

" _Garcia"_

Lucy's eyes snapped open. Her heart was pounding, pulse racing. She could still feel Garcia's body on top of her, inside of her. Hear way he said her name, as if she was the only thing in the world that mattered. She burned from the desire that shone in his eyes.

XXXXXXXXXX

 _Wyatt's Room, Bunker, Present Day_

Wyatt Logan tossed and turned in his sleep. The images racing through his brain were tormenting him. Lucy in that white dress singing about falling in love with him. Lucy's lips on his. Lucy in nothing but a gold necklace.

" _Lucy"_

Suddenly Wyatt's dream shifted. Lucy, in pain, being helped out of the Lifeboat by Flynn. Smiling and laughing with Flynn as they walked down down the hallway in the bunker. Lucy looking to Flynn before agreeing to speak with him. Lucy coming out of Flynn's room early in the morning. Lucy, moaning as Flynn caressed her beautiful alabaster skin.

" _No, Lucy, don't."_

Wyatt was completely unaware of calling out in his sleep. Lying next to him in the darkness, Jessica Logan heard each time her husband called out for the historian. Heard the desire in his voice. The distress. _Well, well, hubby dear. I really don't think I can allow this to continue._


	6. Do I Wanna Know

_Author's Note: The inspiration for this chapter and the name of the title was taken from the song entitled 'Do I Wanna Know' by the Artic Monkeys and the YouTube video of the same name from AllAboutTheGoodGuys. Love the song and video. Really felt that that is a question that Lucy, Wyatt, and Garcia are all asking themselves._

Do I Wanna Know

It had been quiet couple of days in the bunker. No jumps, so the team had some time to try to decompress. Lucy had reluctantly accepted the offer of his room. _Blasted woman. Always so damn worried about everybody else. When would she put herself, her needs, first?_ Garcia knew she wasn't wired that way. He'd just have to work harder to make sure she took better care of herself. He hoped she'd start to let him take care of her.

Surprisingly Wyatt went along with the idea of self defense classes for the non-soldier members of the team. Jessica was also included, as Wyatt wanted to make sure that she could protect herself if Rittenhouse found the bunker. Garcia doubted that Jessica had anything to fear from Rittenhouse but he couldn't prove anything. So far Agent Christopher had come up with nothing and Mason was still struggling to recover more information from the reconstructed hard drive.

They taught the classes together. Wyatt refused to leave Lucy, or Jessica, alone with him. Still Lucy always partnered with him, not Wyatt. Garcia gloried in that fact. Delighted in feeling her body pressed against him as she tried to disarm him or he corrected her fighting stance.

It was during one of these training sessions, when Garcia was trying to remind himself that he wasn't alone with Lucy and she probably wouldn't be receptive if he pulled her into his arms and kissed her like he was aching to do, that the alarm went off. Rittenhouse had jumped to 1981. To the day President Regan was shot. And he couldn't go with her.

 _Fuck!_ Garcia hated this. He had been in first grade in 1981. There was no way he could go with her. Couldn't keep her safe. He was going to have to …

"Wyatt."

"Little busy right now."

Garcia stepped in front of Wyatt, who was walking towards the Lifeboat. With a jerk of his head he motioned Wyatt over to the far side of the room. Wyatt raised impatient blue eyes and motioned for him to get on with it. He took a deep breath, this was going to hurt.

"Look, Wyatt, I know you're not my biggest fan but I just need to ask … Please, keep her safe for me."

He hated the fact that he had to ask Wyatt for this. Hated begging the other man. But if that's what it took to make sure that Wyatt took extra care with Lucy's life, then he'd beg. Garcia knew Wyatt had his own reasons for keeping Lucy safe, but he wanted to let the other man know that he had a vested interest in Lucy's wellbeing.

Wyatt looked like he wanted to argue. Wanted to make some sarcastic remark. Instead Wyatt held his stare for a long moment and then simply nodded and turned to walk towards the Lifeboat. Two steps later, Wyatt turned back to face him.

 _Here it comes._

Wyatt swallowed hard and took his own deep breath.

"Would you check in on Jess for me? She's been feeling a little off. Maybe take her a cup of tea?"

Garcia simply nodded & Wyatt once again headed towards the Lifeboat.

XXXXXXXXXX

 _Wyatt's Room, Bunker, Present Day_

Safely back from 1981, Wyatt walked into his room, after a shower, to find Jessica laying on the bed scrawling through her Facebook feed.

"Hi. What are you looking at?"

Jessica smiles somewhat sadly. "Um, just my family. What I'm missing down here. I don't know how long they're gonna by that I'm pouring pints on an Alaskan cruise ship."

"I'm sorry you have to lie." Wyatt just gives her a look filled with remorse. He didn't really think before he brought Jessica here.

He looks up at the picture on Jessica's phone. "Who's that?"

"Kevin."

"Kevin who?" Wyatt is positive that he's never seen this man before. He's met all of Jess' family so who the hell is Kevin?

"Kevin, my brother. You shoot pool with all the time."

Wyatt freezes. Turns to look at Jessica.

"What?" asks Jessica.

"Not in my timeline." Wyatt is wondering how this can possibly change. He thought his timeline was only different from Jess' for the last six years, but that can't be right. In his timeline Kevin died when Jess was a child. "In my timeline I never met him. He was uh, very sick as a kid."

"He had leukemia." Jessica sits up in the bed.

"Jessica, he died before he was three."

Jessica just shakes her head. "No, he didn't."

"How'd he get better?" Something about this seems off to Wyatt. He doesn't really feel comfortable with Jess' answer about not really remembering. He knows she was just a little kid but surely she would have heard stories. That's the sort of thing parents, families, would talk about. How could she not know?

"Jess, is there something you're not telling me."

"Yeah, there is."

Wyatt stiffens and takes a deep breath. That wasn't the response he was expecting. Certainly not the response he was hoping for. He doesn't know if he really wants to hear what Jess is going to say next.

"I'm pregnant."

XXXXXXXXXX

 _Garcia's Room, Bunker, Present Day_

"Garcia, we need to talk. When you gave me the journal you said you got it from me."

Lucy just walked right into his room. Tension evident in every line of her body. _Fuck! I'm so not ready for this conversation._

"Please, do come in."

Garcia's anxiety made him more curt and sarcastic than he usually was with her. It was just that he hadn't been expecting this. He was still trying to process the immense relief that he felt watching Lucy step out of the Lifeboat after the turmoil caused by her spending hours in the past without him.

"I want to know what you meant by that."

She was so serious. Did something happen in the past that made her upset? Had she started to read the journal and discovered the missing pages? He didn't think so. Somehow he had always pictured much more yelling during _that_ conversation.

"Sure you want to know?"

Garcia had to be sure. Didn't know if he wanted her to force it all out of him or if he wanted her to walk away from the subject.

"Yes" Lucy resolutely said. "I do."

He closed his book and stood. Walked over to Lucy. Garcia needed to be close to her for this conversation.

"It was six months after my family was killed. I was, uh, alone, in hiding. The only thing keeping me from killing myself, was the idea of, um, stopping these beasts who had done this thing."

He couldn't meet Lucy's eyes. _Christ, this is so much harder than I thought it would be._ He was near enough that he could feel her stillness. Expression intent, she hung on his every word, barely breathing. Garcia wasn't sure if he'd ever been so aware of another person's presence.

"At that point, I had no … plans. I ran as far as I could. I ended up in some rattrap of an apartment in Sao Paulo, Brazil. I was on my third drink when you knocked on my door."

Garcia risked a quick glance up at Lucy. When their eyes met it was like the rest of the world receded. He held her gaze as he continued.

"You looked maybe five years older than you look now, uh, but no less …"

 _Beautiful, desirable, exquisite, passionate._ He struggled for words, finally settling for "You looked good. You told me your name. You - you knew everything. How my family died. That Rittenhouse was behind all of this."

Lucy's big brown eyes were full of compassion for him. Luminous with tears for the pain he suffered. He didn't deserve her understanding. Didn't deserve her. Her compassion would make this next part harder.

"You told me there is a way for me to stop them, and that to do it, I was gonna need your help. And that's when you handed me the journal. So Lucy, you started all of it."

She shook her head in disbelief. "No, that's impossible. We can't travel into our own timeline."

"Okay, maybe not now, but maybe one day, Rufus and Jiya will figure it out."

"Wait, what are you saying? In the future …"

Garcia cut her off. He had to convince her.

"I'm saying, you knocked on my door one night. You handed me this journal. You warned me that I was going to be betrayed. That Rittenhouse would send a team to kill me two nights from that night, and then, you just left."

"But that doesn't make any sense."

"Well, Lucy, that's all I know." _Mostly all I know. Please don't ask anymore. I'm not sure you're ready for the answers._ _I'm not sure if I'm ready to know what you'll do._ "The rest, I suppose you'll have to wait and see what happens."

Without breaking eye contact, Garcia stepped closer. Reached out and tucked a curl behind her ear and briefly caressed Lucy's cheek. "We both will."

Lucy swallowed thickly. Energy was a palpable force coursing between them. Garcia felt that for the first time, she was seeing him as a man, not a terrorist, not a murderer, not a friend, but a flesh and blood man with needs and desires. That Lucy understood that he was speaking of more than the outcome of their war with Rittenhouse. Something far more personal.

Lucy took a deep breath. "Garcia, is there something else about the journal that you're not telling me?'

He stepped into her, so close that their bodies were almost touching. His hand was in her hair, grasping the back of her head, moving Lucy forward as his lips softly brushed hers.

"Yes."

Garcia gazed at her, momentarily dropping his shields and allowing her to see his desire. His thumb gently brushed her lips where his mouth had just been.

"But before you ask again, be very sure that you want to know."


	7. And So It Begins

_Author's Note: Wow, that finale! I was inspired but it took a couple days to get this, hopefully, right. There were some lovely angsty moments in there for Garcy shippers. I fully intend to update my other fics but I'm still struggling a bit over Wyatt's actions. Makes it a bit difficult to write him sympathetically._

And So It Begins

 _Bunker, Present Day_

 _Garcia gazed at her, momentarily dropping his shields and allowing her to see his desire. His thumb gently brushed her lips where his mouth had just been._

" _But before you ask again, be very sure that you want to know."_

With that Garcia walked out, leaving a stunned Lucy in his room. He saw the shell shocked expression on her face after he had kissed her. Had let her see the longing and desire he felt for her. It nearly killed him to walk away but he knew that if he hadn't, he would have swept her into his arms and showed her with his body the feelings his mouth couldn't yet verbalize. He wouldn't have been able to stop himself and Lucy wasn't ready for that.

All through that long cold night on the ground outside his door Garcia could feel the heat from her body as if she was still standing next to him. His hand still felt the smooth satin of her curls. His thumb the silkiness of her lips. He tossed and turned trying to find a comfortable position on the bunker floor while his mind told him that the only comfortable position to be found would be in his room, in his bed, beside the woman that haunted his mind. An hour before dawn, he finally gave up and took himself off to the bathroom for a long cold shower.

She avoided him for several days after that. He had expected it. Between him telling Lucy of her role in bringing the team together and his almost confession of his feelings, _neither of them were quite ready for the L-word yet_ , Garcia had given her a lot to consider. He would be patient. He could give her the space that she needed. He found himself praying, to a God that he didn't really believe in, that somehow the space would be enough for Lucy to find her way back to him. Praying that he could keep her safe. Praying that God would make him worthy of her.

Garcia's only consolation was that she was giving Wyatt the same wide berth. She spoke to Rufus and Jiya, although not much. Lucy spent most of her time holed up in his room. He wasn't sure what she was doing, but he liked thinking of her there. Liked imagining her comfortable in his bed. Loved how the room smelled of her shampoo and lotion whenever he entered to get a change of clothing or a book. Still, as he entered the fifth day without so much as a word, a smile, or a glance from Lucy, Garcia was ready to jump out of his skin. He didn't think he had ever been this on edge before. He had replayed every moment of their interaction in his room a thousand times, second and third guessing every word that had come out of his mouth. Convinced that he had said too much too soon. He was just a few more hours of silence away from begging Rufus or Jiya, _Jiya, she was the more sympathetic one,_ to give him any word of her. _Or pass her a note._ The little voice inside his mind kept taunting him. Highlighting all the ways that he was acting like a junior high student over his first crush. Pretty soon he was going to have to grow a pair and go a talk to Lucy. Find out for sure if he had ruined whatever it was that he had felt starting to grow between them.

 _Garcia's Room, Bunker, Present Day - Lucy's POV_

Lucy stood, staring at nothing for a long time after Garcia left the room. When she finally moved, it was to pull on one of his sweaters and curl up on his bed. She hadn't known how to explain why she needed to know how he got her journal. Had just stormed into his room and started firing off questions. The explanation he had given her just lead to thousands more questions. Questions that were going to make her head explode.

When she had returned from 1981, she had been filled with a growing sense of dread. Lucy didn't know if it was that the knowledge that Rittenhouse, including her own mother, wanted her dead or a desire to figure out what this bond that she had with Garcia was. All she knew was that seeing how one different decision, an alternate choice, by Denise Christopher could have changed the lives of everyone in the bunker suddenly made her need to know how Garcia ended up with her journal. Why her future self chose to share her innermost thoughts with a man that, until a few months ago, she believed to be a cold blooded killer.

" _But before you ask again, be very sure that you want to know."_

Lucy sat now looking at that journal as Garcia's words kept going round and round inside her head. His tone so low and husky. His accent so strong. She wondered if that's the way he would sound in bed. _Holy hell! That is not helping._

Firmly banishing all thoughts of Garcia Flynn in bed from her mind, Lucy set aside her journal and lay down to sleep. However, the knowledge that she was sleeping in Garcia's bed made evicting him from her thoughts impossible. She tossed and turned but couldn't seem to find a comfortable position. The evil little voice inside her brain kept pointing out that she had been so much more comfortable the night she spent held in his arms. She would doze off only to wake with the feel of his lips once more on hers. If she was honest with herself, _which right now doesn't seem to be such a great idea,_ Lucy would have to admit that she wanted him to kiss her again. As dawn broke, exhaustion finally overcame her inner turmoil and she fell into a fitful sleep.

Lucy woke after two very short hours of sleep. As she, and her coffee deprived brain, staggered into the kitchen, she decided two things. One, she was going man free until she had this figured out. No longing looks, arguments, or the stilted politeness that passed for conversation, with Wyatt. No joking, no research, no drinking of any kind with Garcia. Denise, Rufus, Jiya, and Mason, they were ok. She would allow herself to interact with them. But no Wyatt and no Garcia. Best to avoid Jessica as well because seeing Jessica led to thinking of Wyatt. Two, she needed to write in that damn journal. Writing was just that, writing. She didn't have to give the journal to anyone. But Lucy was cautious enough to wonder what if Garcia was telling the truth about how he got her journal. If that journal really was what started all of this, the fight against Rittenhouse, then what would happen if she never wrote it? Or was killed before she wrote it?

Feeling only marginally better now that she had made a partial decision, Lucy fixed herself a large cup of coffee and a plate of food and returned to Garcia's room to write. Days passed where, except for meals and bathroom breaks, she didn't leave his room. She decided she wasn't going to look at the original journal. She just wasn't ready for that. She would write this herself, she could always consult her future self's journal later. So she wrote draft after draft trying to get her wording just right before actually entering her thoughts into the journal itself.

Oddly enough it was Wyatt's words to her at the Alamo about writing from the heart that made her scrap all of her drafts and just think about what she wanted to convey to Garcia. After all, she was writing to him. As Lucy pictured him in her mind, strong, angry, broken, and yet tender, at least where she was concerned, she picked up her pen and words started to flow across the page.

 _Garcia,_

 _I'm sorry. So sorry that I have to do this to you. I never knew you before Rittenhouse came into our lives. Don't know what sort of man you were. But I think that you must have been a very good man because I can see shades of that man even now. I know what Rittenhouse has taken from you and I ache for the pain that they have inflicted on you. I'm afraid that I am about to do the same._

 _In this journal, I will lay out what you need to do to take down Rittenhouse. But in embarking on this path, you will lose something of yourself. At times, you will have to do horrible things. Things that will change who you are. But it is necessary so that one day we can work together to bring about their end._

 _There is no more to say except that I hope someday you will forgive me._

 _Lucy_

Once she had apologized, because it was her words that started Garcia on his path of destruction, Lucy found that it was easy to begin to document the theft of the lifeboat. She wrote down everything that she knew about his plan. His accomplices. Their early missions. She silently begged God to forgive her for the innocent lives that her words would end. She couldn't see any other way.

Finally Lucy had enough. She had made a start and was just too heartsick to continue. The walls of the room seemed to be closing in on her and she had to get out or lose her mind. She practically ran down the hallway and into the kitchen. Anything to escape that room and the thoughts inside her head. Finding Jiya was a relief.

Catching up on all bunker gossip was a welcome distraction. Jiya's description of Wyatt as a sulking toddler both amused and annoyed Lucy. She meant it when she told Wyatt that it was none of his business what she did. _Well mostly meant it._ Hearing about Garcia brooding and being concerned and on edge bothered her somewhat more. Still she doubted that either man had really behaved that badly.

She surreptitiously surveyed Wyatt and Garcia over dinner. The first meal that she had eaten with the team in days. Wyatt did appear to be a tad on the sullen side and he seemed more irritable than usual. Garcia, on the other hand, was quiet. Too quiet. He looked like he hadn't been sleeping much and his ever present smirk was nowhere in sight. The one time he met her gaze, Lucy was struck by the worry and pain she saw in his eyes. The were going to have to talk. But it was going to be tomorrow before that occurred. She needed tonight to … she just needed tonight.

 _Garcia's Room, Bunker, Next Morning_

Garcia entered his room. Lucy was out. He had watched her head to the kitchen for breakfast before coming in for a change of clothing. It had been good to see her at dinner. He was glad that she felt comfortable joining the team for meals again. He longed to follow her back to his room last night after dinner but had reminded himself to give her space. He was going to let her be the one to seek him out if it killed him, and it just might if she didn't talk to him soon.

He straightened as he heard the door shut. He turned and there she was. Lucy. Looking so beautiful. _Fuck. What is she doing in here?_ He gave her a brief smile and turned back to his locker. He would get his clothing and get out of her space. He would …

"Garcia, we need to talk."

The very words that he had longed to hear now struck fear in his veins. He wasn't ready to hear what she was going to say. He should have never kissed her. Should have hidden his desire. He drew in a deep breath. He turned to face her. Determined to hear Lucy out and then make his escape. _God she looks amazing._

Lucy walked toward him. The look in her eyes was warm. Tentative but warm. Somehow her hand was on his arm. Her touch burning through his clothing like red hot coals.

"I'm sorry for the way I came to you the other day. I shouldn't have just demanded answers like that. It's just that …"

He reached out and lightly caressed her cheek. Raising her eyes up to meet his. Garcia wanted Lucy to know the truth of what he was about to say.

"There's no need to apologize. You have every right to know. I should have told you sooner but I didn't want to burden you with it. You've been through so much already and I didn't want to add to that."

Lucy shook her head and smiled at him.

"No. I needed to know. Thinking about all of the things that could have changed if Agent Christopher had made a different choice … it just made me need to know."

She stepped into him so their bodies were lightly touching and Garcia put his arms around her. They tightened and he let out a breath he hadn't known he was holding when he heard Lucy's next words.

"I started writing in the journal. I haven't read the original. Haven't decided if I want to."

She looked up at him and smiled and Garcia thought his heart was going to pound right out of his chest. How could she not know that it was hers. That he was her's if she'd have him.

Lucy's hand cupped his cheek and she stretched up onto her tip-toes. Her hand brought his mouth down to hers and she was kissing him. A jolt of electricity went through him at the touch of her lips. It was over all to quickly. She was drawing back slightly. Her eyes clouded with desire. Whatever this was Lucy felt it too.

"I want to know, but I'm not sure that I'm quite ready to ask yet."

Her voice was so soft. Her smile so hesitant. If he hadn't been in love before, Garcia knew that he was now. It was all over for him. This brave, strong, broken woman before him would be the rest of his life.

He smiled as he told her "It's all right. I'll wait."

Garcia was just pulling her closer. Head tilted down, lips brushing Lucy's. He felt her arms tighten around his back. Heard her soft sigh of pleasure and then the door opened.

"Hey guys, Agent Christopher … Whoops, sorry. Um, Agent Christopher wants us all in the kitchen for a meeting. Again, so sorry. Leaving now."

Jiya, red-faced and stammering slightly, delivered her news and left as quickly as she had entered. Garcia pulled Lucy tighter against him for a brief moment and pressed a gentle kiss into her hair before turning her loose.

"Let's go draga. Time for more fun and games."


	8. The Art of Conversation

_Author's Note: It was a long ride to Port Royal in 2.9. This is the conversation that I imagined taking place. Also, I do not speak Croatian. I used both Google translate and an English to Croatian app. Please forgive any errors. The translations are listed at the end of the chapter._

The Art of Communication

 _June 1, 1863, Beaufort County, South Carolina_

It was a long ride to Port Royal and Garcia was glad. To be able to spend hours alone with Lucy, even with the seriousness of their mission, was a gift. Even if they didn't speak a word to each other, he would be content in her presence. Unfortunately, they were going to have to speak and discuss a rather unpleasant topic. He had watched Lucy that morning as Mason and Agent Christopher disclosed to the group that Rittenhouse had a full pictorial history of Jessica Logan's life stored on one of their hard drives. Agent Christopher had given him a heads up the night before so he knew it was coming. If he hadn't been so caught up in Lucy's kisses he would have remembered. He wasn't sure how he could have prepared Lucy but he would have tried.

Garcia guessed that Rittenhouse must be feeling incredibly threatened at present because, in Journal Lucy's timeline, Jessica Logan had remained deceased. So he had had absolutely no warning for what came next. His heart broke when he saw the look on Lucy's face as Wyatt dropped his bombshell about Jessica being pregnant. She looked like she had been stabbed when that _ass_ said he would leave the team if Jessica was forced to leave the bunker. _Wouldn't you? If Lucy were carrying your child, wouldn't you walk away from anything to keep them safe?_ He knew the answer to the question that the taunting little voice in his mind was asking. Even as he slammed the door shut on an image of a glowing Lucy round with his child, he knew. Garcia couldn't let himself go there. Couldn't allow that image to let him dream. To want. To feel any sympathy for Wyatt. The man had placed the entire team in danger and that was nothing compared to what he was doing to Lucy. Besides, Garcia was highly sceptical of Jessica's condition.

Still, he was going to have to discuss this with Lucy. He needed to make sure that she was okay. To allow her to have some time to vent her feelings before they re-joined Rufus and Wyatt. The aggression Wyatt was directing at all of them, especially Lucy, was adding extra strain to an already difficult day. He glanced over and watched her as they rode. Too quiet. Garcia could see Lucy withdrawing into herself. One deep breath and he took the plunge.

"Lucy, are you okay?"

"Why would I not be okay Garcia?"

With the look Lucy gave him, he should be dead. He didn't think he had ever heard that bitter ice cold tone from her before. Journal Lucy had quite the temper but she tended to internalize and self direct her anger. This hostility from his Lucy was far better. He would allow himself to be a handy target for her anger. He could take it. Maybe once she verbalized the anger and the hurt she could move past it, begin to heal. Then they could finally begin to communicate and, _please God,_ become what they were meant to be.

"Wyatt's little bombshell springs to mind."

"Really? We're going to go there?"

"Yes, Lucy. We're going to go there. I know what happened in 1941. I know how you felt. Journal Lucy was quite forthcoming about your feelings for Wyatt."

Garcia knew he was goading her. He couldn't help it. He told himself it was because she needed to get mad and this was a way of provoking her. Of making himself the target. But that wasn't it. Not even close. It had torn his heart out reading about her feelings for Wyatt. About the intimacies she had shared with the other man while he, Garcia, burned for her.

"Well perhaps you could have been a bit more forthcoming about 'Journal Lucy's' insights when Agent Christopher and I visited you in prison. What would it have taken Garcia? How hard was it to say 'Oh, by the way Lucy, another little freebie for you. Don't sleep with Wyatt on this jump tomorrow because his wife will be back from the dead!' Damn you … damn …"

And with that she broke. Harsh racking sobs shook her body. Garcia grabbed the reins of her horse and steared both their mounts off the road and under a nearby tree. He dismounted and pulled Lucy down and into his arms. She fought him for a moment before subsiding and clutching at him like he was her only salvation.

Garcia carried Lucy to a fallen log and sat. Holding her tightly to his chest, he allowed her to cry. His big strong hands moved in comforting circles on her back. Broken by her pain, he was hardly aware of the soft words he murmured to her.

"Moj voljeni. Tu sam. U redu je. Siguran si. Drzite moja srce. Necu te ostaviti."

Garcia rocked her and kept repeating words of comfort and endearment until the storm of her tears ended. He pressed a tender kiss into her hair and asked "Better?"

Lucy nodded and his arms tightened around her, trying to remind her that she was not alone.

"Thank you. I didn't realize how much I needed that. I'm sorry for …"

He laid gentle finger's on Lucy's lips silencing her words. Garcia's lips brushed her forehead with a featherlight kiss.

"There's no need draga. I told you, I'm here for whatever you need."

Confusion marred her beautiful features as she raised her face to his. Tears clung to her eyelashes as her luminous brown eyes searched his.

"Why?"

Garcia couldn't quite contain the harsh laugh that escaped at her question. But he gave her a soft smile and another gentle kiss to the forehead. His large hand caressed the back of her neck as he replied.

"That is, perhaps, a conversation for a later time. We should be on our way. I just wanted … I thought that … You've been so strong and I, um, thought that away from everyone, you could take a minute to grieve."

Lucy didn't bother to protest. They both knew who and what she was grieving. She simply nodded and allowed Garcia to help her mount her horse. Once they were safely on their way again, he allowed himself to answer her question.

"I didn't know. If I had I would have tried to …" He let out a sigh of frustration. "I just wouldn't have wanted you to get hurt like that if I could have prevented it."

"But, Journal Lucy didn't …"

"You said you hadn't read the journal. Well _that_ wasn't in the journal. _That_ didn't happen in Journal Lucy's timeline."

He ran a hand over his face and through his dark hair. Another sigh of frustration escaped as he tried to explain.

"One of the things that she said was that the future isn't set in stone. Some things can be changed. Some of the events that she mentioned haven't happened, or at least not the way she said they would. Other events that have happened aren't mentioned in the journal at all. Jessica Logan returning from the grave is one of those things that isn't mentioned in the journal."

"Okay."

"The one thing that you should know is that Agent Christopher told me what she and Mason found a few days ago. It was one of the reasons that I moved you into my room."

Lucy said nothing, simply looked at him, waiting for him to continue.

"She asked me not to say anything to you or anyone else until she and Mason could investigate further. Lucy, both Agent Christopher and I think that there is more to this than Rittenhouse keeping watch on Jessica."

He looked over at Lucy. His gaze burning into hers.

"I, um, couldn't handle it if anything happened to you. Please, be careful. Don't be alone with Jessica. Stay by Christopher or Mason or one of the others. Or me. You can always stay by me." _Please stay by me. Stay with me._

Lucy could only nod. They rode in silence for a while. Lucy taking the time to digest all that she had been told and Garcia enjoying the uninterrupted time to study her. The way her chignon exposed the graceful lines of her face and neck. The fullness of her skirts accentuating her tiny waist. He had watched her throughout centuries and she looked at home in every one. He particularly liked her in the fashions of the 1920's and 30's. The daring flash and sparkle of the twenties brought Lucy to life in a way that the clothing of other eras had not. The smooth lines of the thirties dresses accentuated her delicateness and femininity. Garcia knew that she had a special affinity for the styles of the 1940's. He would have given anything to see her in Katherine Hepburn's dress. Philadelphia Story had always been one of his favorite movies. Never again would he be able to watch it without thinking of Lucy.

Lucy drew to a stop just before the last hill that would lead them into the Union camp. She turned in the saddle to face him.

"Garcia, thank you."

"Lucy, it's not necessary."

She leaned over and grasped his hand.

"It is."

She waited until he looked at her. Met his eyes and let him see inside her before continuing.

"Thank you for knowing me. For knowing what I need."

 _Draga = dear, beloved_

 _Moj voljeni = my beloved_

 _Tu sam = I'm here_

 _U redu je = It's okay_

 _Siguran si = You are safe_

 _Drzite moja srce = You hold my heart_

 _Necu te ostaviti = I will not leave you_


	9. Whither Thou Goest

Whither Thou Goest

His vision red with anger, Garcia slammed into his room. He was going to take a moment to calm himself, grab a book and then go. He would read until the others were asleep and then take up his nightly position outside his door, guarding Lucy.

The sight of Lucy in Wyatt's arms had been excruciating. She was an affectionate woman; he knew that. He also knew that Lucy needed to re-establish some form of communication with Wyatt. It would break her if she and Wyatt ended up hating each other. Currently their verbal communication was only causing them both pain so she had tried some non-verbal communication instead. Rationally, he understood that was all the hug meant. Lucy was the one who ended it and pushed Wyatt away. _Yeah, but Lucy was the one that initiated the hug._ His inner voice was going to give him no peace tonight. It was just that after holding her and having her kiss him, seeing her with Wyatt, however innocent, felt like a particularly brutal jab to the kidneys.

Click. He turned at the sound of the door latch catching. How the hell had he been so deep into his own head that he hadn't noticed the door opening? And there she was. Hair hanging in wet tendrils around her pale face. Exhausted and make-up free, dressed in one of his black shirts and a pair of leggings, she was still breathtakingly beautiful. _Wait, one of his shirts?_ Damn if that didn't make him feel all warm and fuzzy deep inside.

She sent him a shy smile. "I hope you don't mind. I've been borrowing your shirt to sleep in. It makes me feel …"

Voice warm with affection, he told her "It's fine. My closet is your closet, my bed is your bed, my room yours."

 _Paraphrasing a bit aren't you? Why not just give her the full verse? 'Whither thou goest, i will go; and where thou lodgest, i will lodge: thy people shall be my people.' It's what you're doing._ His inner voice wasn't wrong. It was what he had done. He had followed her here to this hell hole that they were currently trapped in. Stayed, despite the fact that he probably could have escaped. He had embraced the bunker's odd patchwork family for her sake. Particularly in Wyatt's case. He might not have exactly embraced the other man, but for Garcia not killing him was close enough.

"It looks good on you. Help yourself to whatever you need." _Everything in here, including me, is yours anyway._ "Let me just grab my book and get out of your way."

"No."

Garcia looked up at that. _Did that mean?_

"Stay, please. Garcia, could you stay and just hold me tonight?"

Lucy was carefully looking at the floor. Her long delicate fingers worrying the hem of his shirt. A blush was coloring her cheeks but still she continued on.

"The other night, sleeping in your arms… I think that was the best night's sleep I've had in months. I felt so secure, so cared for. I just …"

He was across the room in a second. One hand at the nape of her neck, the other on her hip, drawing Lucy into the warmth of his body. He tucked her head against his chest, dropped a kiss onto her hair, and just breathed in her scent. Whatever flower fragranced her shampoo filled the room, surrounded him with her until he felt like every molecule of his being was drinking her in. His heart was so full that he was surprised that it still fit inside his chest.

"Always, draga. I will always hold you. You never have to be afraid to ask. I told you, I'm here for whatever you need."

Lucy's arms tightened around him to the point that he could scarcely breathe. She shifted slightly and placed a kiss on his chest just over his heart. He was glad his hands were in her hair otherwise they would be shaking.

He could feel the energy pulsing between them spreading throughout the room. The moment spun out around them. He had no idea if he held her for minutes or hours before he led Lucy over to his bed.

"Why don't you just …" he gestured to the bed, indicating that she should lay down. "I'm just going to change into something a bit more comfortable."

He heard the rustle of covers and the creak of the cot as Lucy got into bed and got situated. He could feel her eyes on him as he pulled off his sweater and pulled on a t-shirt. Every nerve ending in his body was on fire.

Lucy scooted over in the bed to make room for him. It was not a large bed and Lucy was practically falling off the side. He reached out to pull Lucy closer into his body and his hand touched the bare skin of her leg. The warm, silky smooth, bare skin of her leg. Apparently Lucy had decided that the leggings would be too warm. Or that she wanted to slowly torture him to death. It was a herculean effort not to run his hand up all that soft skin, over her hips, and up under her, _his,_ shirt. Fuck. _Yes, fuck. A long, slow, achingly deep fuck. That's what you wa-_ Garcia locked down that particular thought before it could make him any more aroused than he already was as Lucy shifted and shimmied against him. All those soft curves moved enticingly against his body as she settled herself into a more comfortable position. Somehow he managed to smother a moan.

"Are you sleepy?"

 _Nope. Not even close_. There was no way he could sleep with Lucy pressed up against him. It was quite possible that he would never sleep again.

"I just can't seem to shut my mind off."

She wasn't the only one.

"No. I'm awake."

"Tell me something true. Something I don't know about you."

 _I'm in love with you and it terrifies me. No, no, can't say that._

"Um, okay. I actually liked Moulin Rouge. Lorena used to make me watch it with her and I pretended that I hated it but I, uh, kind of really enjoyed it."

"Not something that I would have expected. Maybe I should suggest it for our next movie night. I'm sure Rufus and Jiya would love to know it's your favorite."

He could feel Lucy smile against his chest and hear the laughter in her voice. Still, he couldn't let her get away with that. He gently poked her just under the ribs and lightly tickled her.

"I don't think I can allow that. You forget, I know just how ticklish you are. Journal Lucy let me in on a lot of your little secrets."

Lucy's journal entry describing just how he happened to discover that particular fact was one of his favorites. That memory and the way Lucy was currently squirming against him in response to his tickling necessitated an immediate change of topic.

"Your turn. Tell me something I don't know about you."

"Well thanks to Journal Lucy, I'm not sure there is anything you don't know about me."

 _Oh draga moja, there are so many things I don't know about you. How you feel about me. If you could ever forgive me for the things that I have done. If you could ever love me. If you still love Wyatt._

"Oh, I'm sure she left out something. Give it a try."

"Hmm, okay, well… I religiously watch all of the 'Real Housewives' shows."

He couldn't quite contain his laughter. "Sorry, Journal Lucy, sold you out on that one Dr. Preston. Try again."

"I don't think I like Journal Lucy."

He smiled into the darkness, his hand gently stroking her back. Somehow the slight pout in her voice was ridiculously adorable.

"Lucy…"

"Okay, fine. I don't like Pride and Prejudice. I know all women supposedly love Jane Austen's books but I'm not a fan of any of them."

"Now that I didn't know. So tell me, what does the esteemed Dr. Preston like to read?"

"A little bit of everything. Shakespeare, Nora Roberts, Diana Gabaldon, Dashiell Hammett, Steve Berry, Mary Shelley, Alison Weir, Machiavelli, Lord Byron, William Blake, G.K. Chesterton, Edgar Allen Poe, J.R. Ward, Agatha Christie."

"Quite the list."

"You asked. I like to read."

His hand resumed stroking Lucy's back. They were both silent for a while. Each trying to decide which questions they would risk asking. Finally Lucy shifted so she could see Garcia's face. The moonlight coming through the bunker windows granted just enough light for her to make out the outline of his features.

"Garcia, before we met David Rittenhouse, you told me that if you got your family back, you would hug your wife, let your daughter jump into your arms, and then say goodbye and walk away forever. Would you really do that?"

Her voice was soft and hesitant. At this point, Garcia knew Lucy well enough to know what she was really asking. She was asking if he would walk away from her. If he miraculously got Lorena and Iris back would he stay with her or would he, like Wyatt, return to his wife. He brought his hand up to caress her cheek and prayed that she would believe his answer.

"Yes, Lucy, I would really walk away. I loved Lorena and Iris, a part of me always will. But I'm not the same man that was a husband and a father. I've done too many things, changed too much. I can't go back and I've grieved for them. I … it's not them I see when I close my eyes at night."

Unsure of what words to say or how to make her believe him, Garcia pulled her up onto his body. Let his lips claim hers gently. He didn't want to pressure Lucy, but hoped he could convey with his body what he could not convey through speech.

She let out a soft moan and fisted her hand in his hair, nipping at his lips with her teeth as she took the kiss deeper. Her legs tangled with his as she rocked against him. The hand at her back found its way under her shirt stroking her soft skin. Pressing her tighter against him.

One of Lucy's hands moved under his shirt, caressing his abdomen. Little shocks of electricity coursed through his body at her touch. He rolled them so she was underneath him. His mouth moving from her lips to her cheek and down her neck. Teeth biting lightly at her clavicle.

"God, Garcia."

Hearing her say his name in that deep throaty tone sent a flood of desire coursing through his veins. She shifted again, spreading her legs slightly and cradling him between her thighs.

"Draga moja, tako lijepo."

She rolled her hips and pressed her core against him ripping a moan from his throat. One hand cupped her breast, fingers teasing her nipple to a taunt peak and sending a shiver throughout her body.

"Bog vas zelim"

"Garcia please."

She let out a breathy moan as his mouth found hers once more. Tongues clashed as he ground against her. Her heat scorched him through his flannel pants. The movement of her body against his drove him insane.

All coherent thought had left his brain, there was only Lucy. Lucy helping him raise up her shirt. Lucy arching as his mouth found her nipple. Rocking her hips so her core brushed against his arousal over and over. Lucy moaning his name and please repeatedly. He would never get enough of hearing her call for him, desire evident in the raspiness of her voice.

He stopped kissing her long enough for her to remove his shirt. She reached for the waistband of his pants and he pulled back. Gasping for breath he looked down at her. Her eyes were black with need, chest heaving as she sucked air into lungs that were on fire, lips swollen from his kisses. His hands fisted into the covers, knuckles white with tension, as he struggled to force out the words that needed to be said.

"Draga moja stop. We can't."

The look she gave him was a mixture of hurt, frustration, desire, anger, and confusion. _God grant me strength and the words to make her understand._

"Lucy, I want you more than I want to take my next breath but we can't do this tonight. It has been a difficult and painful day and I don't want to rush this or make you do anything that you might regret. I… just couldn't…if you regretted this I don't think I could stand it."

Lucy stared up at him not moving and saying nothing. Garcia looked down at her, all his defenses dropped, and prayed she could see that he spoke the truth. He reached down and brushed back a curl that had fallen down onto her face as the silence stretched between them.

"Ljubavi, tell me you understand. Shake your head, smile, something, please."

Slowly Lucy shook her head yes, she did understand and Garcia felt some of his tension leave him.

"Tell me you don't hate me." _Please, please, don't hate me._

Her head moved from left to right and she gave him a small smile. No, she didn't hate him. _Thank God._ His heart felt lighter and suddenly he could once again draw a full breath.

He pulled his shirt back on and reached to pull down her shirt. If he had to look at that expanse of milky white skin much longer all his good intentions would go out the window and he would finish what they had started. Once Lucy was safely covered, Garcia laid back down and drew her against him. His hand softly stroked her hair as the darkness surrounded them. Her quiet voice broke the silence that had descended.

"I don't regret it."

His hands momentarily tightened in her hair. He pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead before he relaxed his grasp.

"Just tell me that again in the morning please. Now close your eyes and go to sleep."

With a soft sigh, Lucy did just that. Garcia remained awake, content just to hold her and, once she was safely asleep, told her all that was in his heart. Words of love and endearment in Croatian that he hoped she would one day come to understand.


	10. Betrayal

_A/N: So I had to take a bit of creative license with the dialogue from the first part of 2.10 to make it work with my storyline. Hope it works for everyone._

Betrayal

 _Garcia's Room, Bunker, Present day_

He was having the best dream. He had spent the better part of the previous night kissing and caressing Lucy and now she was snuggled up against him, peacefully sleeping in his arms. It was everything he had hoped for and more than he could have dared to dream. He had just let out a sigh of contentment when there was a familiar sound. Something that wasn't part of the dream. Something that intruded into this blissful place where a miracle happened, something wrong. Garcia's eyes snapped open. He was instantly alert. Lucy's warm weight moved against him as she, also disturbed by the noise, stirred to wakefulness. She regarded him blearily and asked "Was that …"

"The Lifeboat" he finished with a growing sense of dread. "I think so."

He felt the loss of her as they both hurriedly rose and threw on the remainder of their clothing and shoes. He grabbed her hand and, together, they rushed out to the bunker's mission control center. They found the others already there regarding the empty space that used to hold the Lifeboat.

"Where's the Lifeboat?" Connor Mason looked frantic. Of course Mason was worried about his baby. If he had invented a time machine, Garcia supposed that he would also feel a bit proprietorial.

Rufus surveyed the disheveled group and immediately noticed who was missing. His panic evident as he asked "Where's Jiya?"

The pilot was frantic. Garcia didn't even want to consider how he would feel if it was Lucy who was missing. He couldn't lose another woman that he loved; he wouldn't survive it this time. He would burn the world down before he let that happen.

"What happened?" demanded Agent Christopher. Apparently she hadn't left the bunker last night.

"Wyatt!" Lucy's voice was both questioning and full of concern for the other man. Garcia felt a quick stab of pain hearing her call for the soldier. He was still trying to console himself with the fact that Lucy had woken in his arms when Wyatt answered.

"It's Jessica, she … she got my gun. Kidnapped Jiya. Took the Lifeboat."

"Wait, wait, wait. Hold on." He could tell that Lucy was having difficulty making sense of what she had just heard.

"So … so Jessica is Rittenhouse." Agent Christopher was quicker to asses the situation.

"Rittenhouse has the Lifeboat?" Garcia asked while he silently damned Jessica Logan to the deepest, darkest, most fiery pit in hell.

Rufus strode towards Wyatt demanding "What did she do with Jiya?"

When Wyatt couldn't, or wouldn't, answer, Rufus and Mason rushed to the computers. Rufus frantically typed on the keyboard hoping to find anything that would lead to the Lifeboat's whereabouts.

Peering over Rufus' shoulder, Mason asked "Anything?" To his credit, Mason was now looking more worried about his missing employee than his missing time machine.

"No, nothing. I can't find them."

"They might've disabled the tracker."

Agent Christopher slowly made her way over to where the two engineers were huddled over a computer. "Is there another way to locate the Lifeboat?"

Garcia just watched Lucy where she stood, in her old robe with the insane geisha obi print that she had hastily thrown on over his shirt, hair tousled from a night spent in his arms. Her eyes were dark with pain as she tried to process everything. He registered Rufus' cry of frustration but nothing could tear his eyes from Lucy as she stared after Wyatt, trying to comprehend the chaos that he had brought to the bunker.

"The whole system is down. There is nothing." Rufus said as he slammed his hands down on the keyboard.

Rufus ignored Mason's attempt at comfort. Instead the pilot's frustration at not being able to find the Lifeboat transformed to anger as Rufus charged towards Wyatt. "We asked you… I asked you to tell us if she said or did anything to make you think she was Rittenhouse."

"He didn't do anything wrong. He didn't … he didn't suspect anything." Hearing Lucy defend Wyatt infuriated Garcia.

"I did." Wyatt's soft admission filled the bunker. All activity halted.

"What?"

Her one word said it all. He ached for Lucy. The amount of hurt and heartache and the wealth of betrayal that she conveyed was endless. How much more could she possibly be expected to withstand? Garcia would have given anything, done anything, to take that pain away from her. Even as he struggled to contain his desire to murder Wyatt, for endangering them all, _Lucy_ , for endangering Lucy, for being the cause of this new hurt, Garcia knew he wouldn't do it. _Probably wouldn't do it._ It would cause Lucy too much pain. _Damn that man!_ _After all Wyatt had done, how could she still defend him? Still hurt for him?_

"Her brother" Wyatt ground out.

"He's a mechanic in Hayward" Agent Christopher's voice somehow conveyed that she was questioning why Wyatt was bringing Jessica's brother into this mess. "We did a background check on him. It came out clean."

Wyatt gave a defeated sigh. Looking like a man whose world had just ended, which Garcia supposed on some level it just had, the soldier responded "Yes, but in our original timeline, he died of leukemia when they were kids. But here, Jessica said that he was saved by some sort of stem cell therapy which… I assume was not around in the 1980s."

"So what? You just lied?" Garcia didn't bother to try to hide his disbelief and disgust. Even though he had suspected, _all right believed,_ that Jessica was Rittenhouse, he still struggled to wrap his head around the younger man's betrayal. Yes, Wyatt had walked around the bunker with his head up his ass for the last several weeks. Had been responsible for hurting Lucy deeply, but he knew that Wyatt still loved her and would have never done anything to place her in danger. _Or so you thought._ That was the main reason he disliked, _hated,_ the other man so strongly. But this …

"Why didn't you tell us?" Lucy demanded as if there could ever be a justification for this.

"Because I wanted to figure it out first. I told her she had to leave the bunker. I was trying to do the right thing, and …"

Wyatt turned his gaze on Lucy. The soldier's blue eyes swam with tears and pleaded for understanding.

"If your sister came back, would you assume that she was your sister, or would you think she's some sort of traitor."

Garcia saw that Wyatt's tactic had succeeded up to a point. Lucy had softened slightly towards the other man. Still, no-one in the bunker, not even Lucy, was going to let Wyatt off the hook so easily. He certainly wouldn't. This betrayal was just too big.

"I'm sorry."

Wyatt hung his head in sorrow as he began to realize the magnitude of his mistake. The colossal way he had just let down the team and the extent of the danger that he had placed them in.

"It's a little late for that. Geeze, we… we had those Rittenhouse photos and we did Jack squat and now Jiya's gone."

When he heard Rufus' self-recrimination, Garcia realized that he bore some of the blame as well. Self-hatred rose as he acknowledged that he could have done something to prevent this even though Agent Christopher had forbidden it. Deep down they had both known that Jessica was Rittenhouse. Just because Denise Christopher had decided to play it safe didn't mean he had to. He could have chosen to act. He had vowed to protect Lucy whatever the cost and he had failed miserably. And that was saying nothing about the harm that he had allowed to come to Jiya.

"Okay, we're just trying to figure out what happened Wyatt."

His Lucy, ever the diplomat. Anger towards himself, _and Wyatt, can't forget Wyatt,_ made Garcia's thoughts harsh. Caused his words to be even harsher. He faced Wyatt.

"So, let me just sum this up. Jessica was screwing you, she lied about being pregnant, & then she wrapped you around her finger just long enough so she could screw us too. Damn it, why the hell didn't you at least tell me? At the very least we could have kept a watch on the Lifeboat."

Wyatt's response was swift and equally harsh. "Cause I didn't trust that you wouldn't try to kill her."

"Well in hindsight, would that have been such a bad thing?"

Anger at the situation made his words cruel. Immediately after saying them, he hoped he hadn't actually meant them. Garcia didn't even blame Wyatt for the first punch. But after that he gave as good he got. Mason tried to reason with them and Agent Christopher ordered Wyatt to stand down but the protests came from so far away. He put all of his anger, frustration, and jealousy into each blow. Rage clouding both of their visions, he and Wyatt fought, doing their level best to kill each other, and his Lucy jumped in.

"Wyatt"

She tried to defend him. Grabbed Wyatt's arm and tried to pull 180 pounds of enraged Delta Force soldier off of him. He realized that Wyatt hadn't meant to backhand Lucy, just to shrug her off. Still, all Garcia saw as he lunged for the other man was the woman they both loved holding a hand to her face with a look of shock at being struck by someone she trusted to protect her.

Mason and Agent Christopher pulled him off Wyatt and held him back as Wyatt turned. The look the soldier gave Lucy was one of regret and contrition.

"Lucy"

Wyatt started for her, no doubt to try to take her in his arms. But Lucy held up a hand to hold him off.

"No, NO!"

Damn it, the tears were as evident in her voice as they were streaming down her face as she ran from the room. Both he and Wyatt had truly fucked this up.

He gave Lucy some space. He needed a bit of time to calm down before he went to find her and apologize. _Please let her forgive me._ Still it wasn't long before he went off in search of her, ice pack in one hand, his heart in the other.

Garcia found her sitting on her bed in the room that she had shared with Jiya. She was staring forlornly at the other woman's bed, a lost look on her face. The door was open but he knocked anyway.

"Hey, thought you might want this."

She gave him a tight smile but it didn't reach her eyes. Unsure, he crossed into the room and moved to sit next to her on the bed.

"Here, let me see."

His hand shook as he gently moved her hair so he could get a good look at her jaw. There was a small amount of swelling and redness. She winced as he raised the ice pack to her face.

"Sorry. This should help."

Her eyes found his and she gave him that same tight smile again. He pulled her into his chest and held her. They sat like that for quite a while. Each drawing comfort from the other's presence. Finally Lucy pulled away and shifted so that she was facing him. He thought she seemed a bit more at peace. This time her smile was more real, it's warmth reaching her eyes.

"Garcia, I don't regret it."

His eyes lit as he wrapped his arms around her and hauled her onto his lap. His heart filled with joy as he expressed gratitude to the heavens for this gift. He knew that he could never deserve her, yet she was here anyway.

"Thank God."

Lucy's small hand cupped his jaw and brought his face down to hers. She kissed his cheek, his forehead, his other cheek, and finally his lips. Garcia pulled her even closer and buried his face in her hair. He had no words, either in English or in Croatian, to express how he felt in this moment. Instead they poured out of him through the tears that soaked into her hair. She said nothing, just held him until he was calm and then kissed him once again.


	11. Loss

Loss

Garcia walked down the hallway to his room feeling the lowest he had been for a long time. His shoulder hurt. His arm hurt. His whole fucking body hurt but most of all his heart hurt. Not since he had lost Lorena & Iris had he felt this bad. Everything, he had almost had everything. Lucy had looked to him. Had seen something of the man he used to be and started to welcome him into her life. She gave him her trust, her thoughts, her kisses. She would have given him her body had he not stopped her. She spent two beautiful nights in his arms. He had felt more peace and happiness than he ever thought he would find again. Experienced caring, compassion, and love; but all that was over now. It had been over from the second Wyatt Logan had uttered "Lucy, I love you." Future Lucy and future Wyatt arriving together had only served to confirm it. Still, he knew he wouldn't change a moment of the time he had spent with her even though it had led him to this.

God he was tired and heartsick. The only thing on his mind was getting to his room, getting that bottle of vodka, and getting shit-faced drunk. He was going to drink until his mind, his body, and his fucking heart, were numb. He kicked open his door and practically fell to his knees at the sight before him. Lucy. His wonderful, beautiful, precious Lucy. She was there; wearing one of his shirts, wrapped in his blankets, lying in his bed fast asleep. _Oh, thank God!_ Her exquisite face was so pale, marred by the cuts and bruises left from Emma's attempt to beat her to death, yet she looked so peaceful.

Softly, so as not to wake her, Garcia shut the door. He pulled the chair over to the bed, grabbed the vodka, and sat. He took a long pull off the bottle and just watched as his ljubavi slept. She had become his everything and it would take him some time to come to grips with the fact that he hadn't lost her to Emma's brutality and maybe not to Wyatt's love. _Please, please don't let me lose her._

He longed to crawl into bed beside her and pull her into his arms but if she was some figment of his grief stricken, lovesick imagination he didn't want to know it tonight. He would watch her sleep and guard her from the nightmares that were sure to come. He took another pull on the bottle as he thought about the nightmares he would face if he closed his eyes. It started with finding her in that photography studio in Chinatown after her mother's death and ended either with her death or in a dank bunker hallway with Wyatt's confession.

XXXXXXXXXX

 _Chinatown, San Francisco 1888_

When Garcia and Wyatt followed Emma and Jessica out of the photography studio, Lucy had been on her knees trying to staunch the flow of blood from her mother's wounds. The scene that he returned to was quite different. He was still peering out from behind the curtain covered doorway to make sure that he hadn't been followed when he heard her voice.

"Where's Wyatt?"

 _Wyatt, it was always fucking Wyatt._ "We split up."

At her look he offered her some minimal reassurance.

"Relax, even I couldn't kill Wyatt if I wanted to, and I want to."

Seeing no sign of either bitch, the red headed one or the blond, Garcia let the curtain fall back and turned to face Lucy for the first time since re-entering the studio. What he saw made his heart stop. Not even that morning had he seen her look so pale. Sitting there she was too still, too self-contained. Her eyes were completely lifeless. His gaze quickly surveyed the room and came to rest on the second shrouded body. The hint of a delicate black heeled boot poked out from under the blanket. _Damn, was there no end to the losses she had to suffer._

For Garcia personally, death could not have come soon enough for Carol Preston but he knew that Lucy had never given up hope that her mother would someday come to see the error of her ways. It was something that they had discussed at length but he had never known exactly what to say or how to help. He didn't want to be responsible for snuffing out one of Lucy's last remaining dreams but deep down he knew that Carol Preston was Rittenhouse to the core.

"Your mom?"

"She's dead."

Lucy didn't even look at him, her voice flat, face void of all expression. She simply sat staring unseeing into the room ahead. He crossed to her slowly, unsure of what words of comfort he could offer, fully knowing that nothing could make up for the loss of a beloved mother. Because, no matter what she said, no matter what Carol had done, he knew that Lucy still loved her.

"I'm sorry Lucy."

"You know what her one great regret was? That she didn't indoctrinate me earlier into her evil cult. You were right. I should have seen her for what she was sooner. My whole life I was blind."

 _Oh draga, I never wanted to be right. I hoped you would be spared this._ Her voice was still so expressionless. He was desperate to reach something in her, even anger.

"Well, you want someone to blame, you should blame Wyatt. He's the idiot who brought a Rittenhouse spy into the bunker."

She finally looked at up at him and the pain he saw reflected in her eyes drew the breath from his lungs. But her voice, when she spoke, carried a hint of anger.

"And what would you have done? If Rittenhouse had brought your wife and child back from the dead. Would you look for the hidden catch or would you just be so grateful that they were back in your arms and in your life? You can blame Wyatt if you want …"

"I don't give a damn about Wyatt." He knew his accent was thicker with each word he spoke. As he fell to his knees before her, Garcia hoped that his words would remain in english long enough for Lucy to understand as he finally confessed his love for her. "That's not why I'm here."

As her eyes locked onto his, he forgot where or when they were. Through all the agony and loss that this day had brought, the only thing he could see was the beauty and fragility of the woman before him.

There was a hint of dawning recognition in her eyes as she asked him "Why are you here?"

 _Ljubavi, do you truly not know?_ It seemed to Garcia that they were frozen in that moment. His eyes spoke volumes before he squared his shoulders and drew a deep breath. _Let her love me back. If not now then someday._

"I…"

The sound of the door opening halted the words that he was about to speak. _Fuck Wyatt! Did he have to ruin every moment with Lucy?_ _At least the bastard seems to realize that he intruded on something._

Tension hung in the air until Wyatt finally asked "Where's Rufus?"

"We found Jiya. Come on."

Reminded of their purpose, Lucy was instantly up and out the door leaving both men to follow in her wake.

XXXXXXXXXX

 _Bison Horn Saloon, Chinatown, San Francisco, 1888_

The joyous feeling of being reunited with Jiya was short lived. Currently the team was hiding in a back hallway and having a heated debate about whether or not Jiya would return with them to the present. Jiya was steadfast in her refusal to leave. She insisted that if she did it would set into motion the events that would lead to Rufus' death. Round and round they went but they got no where. Finally Lucy had enough.

"Stop it. Stop it. Both of you stop. Nobody's dying and we're getting out of here."

God he loved that woman. She was magnificent. His Lucy was so fierce, so passionate about protecting those whom she loved. Despite the situation, he got a perverse sense of joy from the bossiness in her tone.

"You don't understand." Jiya tried to explain but Lucy was having none of it.

He didn't think he had ever seen Lucy take on such an air of authority before. She fixed the group with a hard stare and gave them hell.

"I do understand. None of us have anything anymore except each other. That's how we've survived this long. No matter how bad it gets, we're together. We take out Rittenhouse together. We are going home together. Are we clear?"

Lucy had a way of telling it like it was and getting to the heart of the matter. Garcia found he could not disagree with her words. It served to refocus them. Well, refocus him and Wyatt.

"She's right."

"Count me in."

She had even reached Rufus who interjected some much needed humor into all the tension. "That was, like, better than the speech in Rudy."

Jiya was the only one still arguing. "I'm not leaving." The techie pleaded with Rufus and the rest of the group "Just go, okay. Before it's too late."

"Jiya."

The sound of gunshots filled the air. Chairs fell over and tables scraped the floor as the patrons rushed to get out of the line of fire. He and Wyatt both had their weapons drawn as Emma's voice came ringing out, taunting them. "Oh Lucy!"

"Stay back. Stay back."

Garcia wasn't sure if Wyatt's words for himself or Lucy as they had both started forward at Emma's words.

"Sorry about your mom. That is, if you even care, her being a Rittenbitch and all."

His finger twitched on the trigger. He really hoped that he would be the one to silence the red-headed menace forever. He longed to stop her flow of words. To end this and get her out of their lives forever.

"I'm in charge now. I think you'll find me enlightened compared to Nicholas. Come out, come out, wherever you are."

Ever the soldier, Wyatt was asking Jiya about alternate exits. There were others but all of them involved going through the main room of the saloon which was currently being riddled with bullets from Emma and Mrs. Wyatt Logan. Resolved that there was no other way, the soldier sighed heavily then looked at him with eyes that begged for cooperation. "All right, look, it's you and me. We cover everyone, then make a run for it."

Garcia nodded. He didn't like it but he'd do it. Anything to get Lucy and the other's out of this situation and back home safely. It surprised him, but he felt almost as responsible and concerned for Jiya and Rufus as he did for Lucy.

Wyatt continued issuing orders. "Lucy, you go straight for the Lifeboat. Get them home safe & then come back for me and Flynn. All right?"

Lucy quickly nodded her agreement. Her heart was in her throat as she watched Garcia and Wyatt round the corner, weapons at the ready. All she could think was _come back to me._

XXXXXXXXX

 _Exterior Bison Horn Saloon, Chinatown, San Francisco, 1888_

 _Bloody fucking hell! That hurts._ Garcia's shoulder and arm were on fire. At least one of Emma's shot's had been successful. They had no sooner stepped out the backdoor of the saloon then the bullets started flying. The had been cautious yet somewhat optimistic because Rufus had survived beyond the events in Jiya's vision.

His eyes frantically searched for Lucy and found her sheltering behind a barrell. She looked to be unhurt. _Thank God._ But Rufus, damn. _Could this day get any worse?_ Another of Emma's bullet's had struck the pilot. _Yes, apparently it can._ Wyatt and Jiya were doing their best to stop the bleeding but Garcia knew a fatal wound when he saw one. They wouldn't be able to get Rufus to the Lifeboat and back to the present fast enough. He felt true sorrow at the thought of the pilot's death despite the fact that Rufus had always been quite vocal about his dislike of him.

"Lucy."

He looked up at Wyatt's cry. _What the hell is she thinking?_ In the length of time that it had taken him to assess Rufus' condition, Lucy had picked up a gun dropped by a deceased Rittenhouse thug and started after Emma.

"Can you run with that thing?" Wyatt asked.

"I can sure as hell try." Weapon in hand, Garcia took off after Lucy. Half formed prayers raced through his mind as he raced to catch up. _Keep her safe. Please._ The longer it took to find Lucy the more he feared he would be too late. He had just reached the docks when gunshots split the air. _Not Lucy. Please, not Lucy._

As he got closer he could hear Lucy and Emma yelling. He raced into the warehouse and down a corridor to find Emma on top of Lucy, one hand around Lucy's throat, the other punching Lucy repeatedly. Lucy's struggles were going weaker by the second as Emma's grip tightened around Lucy's throat, cutting off her air.

Garcia had no memory of what occurred next. One second he was watching Lucy being beaten and choked and then he was kneeling beside her. He moved to pull Lucy into his arms but she grabbed his gun and launched herself after Emma, firing until there were no bullets left.

Sobbing, battered, and emotionally spent, Lucy collapsed on the filthy warehouse floor. The only thing he could do for her in that moment was to hold her so that's what he did.

"Garcia, I can't. I can't." He pulled her closer and rested his forehead on hers. The bullet wound in his shoulder sent waves of agony washing through him but that was secondary to the pain caused by Lucy's distress. He rocked her and murmured endless words of comfort. He promised that he would never let anything bad happen to her ever again. Told her he would always keep her safe. In Croatian he confessed his love and vowed to himself that he would tell her in English as soon as they were home safe.

Finally, he gathered himself enough to start the process of getting her back to Wyatt and Jiya. Lucy had cried herself out and was weak as a rag doll. Slowly, supporting her weight, Garcia got them back to the saloon. He didn't think that Lucy was even aware of their surroundings anymore but the second they reached the others she collapsed beside Rufus and fresh sobs shook her body.

He and Wyatt had to drag Lucy and Jiya away from Rufus. Both women fought them and begged them to bring Rufus' body with them but it wasn't safe. In the end, he and Wyatt had to drag them away from the saloon. No amount of alcohol would drown out their cries or remove the memory of that agonizing walk from his mind.

XXXXXXXXXX

 _Garcia's Room, Bunker, Present Day_

"Lucy. No, don't leave me. Ljubavi, no." He was lost in and endless loop of watching Emma, Carol, or some other Rittenhouse member murder Lucy.

"Garcia, wake up. Garcia. Please. Wake up."

He came to with Lucy standing over him, one hand shaking his non-injured shoulder, the other cupping his cheek. Worried brown eyes met his. She had tears streaming down her face. _She was safe. She was here._ Incapable of speech, he pulled her onto his lap and held her tightly, afraid that if he let go she would disappear.

"Garcia, it's okay. I'm here. I'm safe." Lucy ran her hand through his hair and just kept offering words of comfort. It was a long time before he calmed enough to relax his grip on her.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you." He couldn't quite meet her eyes. He was supposed to be protecting her from nightmares not the other way around.

Lucy used both hands to raise his face enough to see into is eyes. "It's fine. I'm fine. What are you doing sleeping in that chair? No wonder you had nightmares."

"You need your rest. I didn't want to disturb you."

"Damn it. Garcia Flynn you were just shot. Why the hell wouldn't you wake me up or just get in bed next to me?"

He opened his mouth, unsure if he meant to protest or try to explain his reasoning but Lucy wasn't having any of it. Without another word she was off his lap and standing beside him.

"Up now. I mean it. You have a bullet wound and you are getting in this bed." She was such a ferocious sight the he almost laughed but thought better of it. He truly loved his bossy historian. But she needed the bed more than he did. He wouldn't back down on that.

"Draga, you were choked and beaten. Get in bed. I'm fine in the chair."

"No. I'm not arguing about this anymore. I'm tired. Every bone and muscle in my body hurts. If you really want me in that bed then you'll get in there first because that's the only way that I'm laying back down. There's plenty of time tomorrow to talk and process all of this. Right now I just really want to have your arms around me and close my eyes. So. Get. In. The. Bed. Now."

Chastened, he got into bed and held out his good arm for her. Once she had settled herself against him he pulled the blankets over them both.

"I'm sorry ljubavi. This is better for both of us. Now close your eyes." He pressed a kiss into her hair and stroked her back until he felt her drift off. Only then did he close his own eyes. Tomorrow they would talk.


	12. Morning Revelations

_Author's/Note: Most of this chapter is from Lucy's POV. A lot has gone on and I just kept envisioning her internal dialogue as she tried to process everything._

Morning Revelations

In the pre-dawn light Lucy watched the man lying next to her. She was thankful that Garcia was still asleep. He had been through so much yesterday, had helped her so much; he needed rest. He looked more at peace in repose. Most of the lines of pain and tension had faded temporarily from his face. Still, she was sure they would return with a vengeance once he awoke.

He stirred slightly and muttered something under his breath that could have been her name. Quickly she shifted closer, placed a kiss to his temple, and laid her hand over his heart and he calmed. She was struck by the smallness of her hand where it lay against his chest. Garcia was so big. He towered over her. The sheer magnitude of him often took her breath away. He filled any space he occupied with his presence. For her, any room seemed to shrink if he was in it resulting in an acute awareness of him at all times. Once upon a time his size, among other things, had terrified her. Now she wondered how she could have ever been afraid of him. He was so gentle with her. He was proving to be a pillar of strength. Somewhat incomprehensibly, her pillar of strength.

Lucy wasn't quite sure what to make of this. If you had asked her four months ago if she would ever become friends with Garcia Flynn she would have laughed and answered with an unequivocal NO. Yet here she was, in his bed where she had spent the last several nights, three of those nights with him in it as well. It had been, _was,_ nice. _Honesty here Preston. Nice? Really?_ Red colored her cheeks and warmth filled her body as she silently acknowledged to herself that it had been far more than just nice. She could still feel his kisses, his hands on her, his mouth moving over her body setting off thousands of little fires underneath her skin. The feeling of his hard body moving against hers had blocked everything else out. How was it that that night was so vivid in her mind while the memory of her night with Wyatt was hazy, as if it were lost in this mists of a far off dreamland.

Wyatt. She always thought she would give anything to hear him speak of love and her in the same sentence. Yet last night, hearing him finally confess his love had left her feeling strangely panicked. She could, and did, address his regret at having fucked things up between them. He had. Although, if she was being truthful, she shared some of the blame. She could have fought for him, but damn it, fighting Jessica's ghost had been hard enough. A living breathing Jessica was damn near impossible to fight. And she wouldn't be a homewrecker. Wouldn't be the "other woman." It just wasn't the way she was made. Coupled with that was the fact that the entire time she had known Wyatt, his entire focus had been on getting Jessica back, the exception being a night long ago, and yet paradoxically not, in 1941. Did she really have any other choice? Walking away, giving Wyatt an unencumbered chance to rekindle his marriage was truly the only thing she could do and still remain true to herself.

She felt horrible for Wyatt. Really, she did. Her heart ached for the pain that he must be feeling right now. To get the one thing he'd wanted most in the world and then have it turn to ashes. To find out that his marriage was, and possibly always had been, a fantasy concocted by Rittenhouse to gain information. For many men, that would be a mortal wound. Lucy hoped it wouldn't become one for Wyatt. Thankfully, future Wyatt seemed to provide evidence that it wouldn't be, but time had proven to be a fickle mistress. And Wyatt was so much better, so much more, than he gave himself credit for. Yet his response to everything had been to tell her that he loved her? Less than 48 hours ago he practically told the entire team to go to hell. That if Jessica was forced to leave the bunker that he would go too. He would walk away from the mission, the team, her. Less than 24 hours ago, Jessica's actions had endangered the entire team and, despite Emma being the one to pull the trigger, caused Rufus' death. She forced aside the pain caused by that memory. She couldn't deal with that now and they were going to get him back. Then roughly 14 hours later, Wyatt confessed his love for her. How the hell was she, or anyone for that matter, supposed to believe that? Oh, she was pretty sure that Wyatt believed it when he said it. She admitted that he did love her on some level. But today? Tomorrow? Next week? Objectively speaking, he had broken every promise he had ever made to her. Which brought her back to the man in whose arms she was currently lying.

Garcia Flynn had made relatively few promises to her. That she could trust him. He had more than proved that. Slightly less specifically he had certainly implied that he would not let anything harm her. He had done his best to prevent any physical harm to her and to minimize or counter any emotional harm. After preventing her death in Salem, he had helped her to in the Lifeboat, had reassured her that she was nothing like her mother, and had kept her standing and functioning when she was faced with Jessica Logan for the first time. In Texas, he had once again saved her from death by yanking her out of the line of fire but he had also called her on her newly acquired drinking habit even though she had been a bitch to him afterwards. He had put himself out there on that late night drive when he opened up and admitted that he wanted to get to know her. Had acknowledged understanding that his previous actions might not make that an attractive option for her. He had shared stories of his life with her and held her through the night to keep her nightmares at bay. Remembering how he had told her _"I'm here for whatever you need"_ in that low, rough, heavily accented voice still sent waves of heat coursing through her body. That he was here for "whatever" definitely seemed to be the case.

What had Garcia been about to tell her when Wyatt walked in? The expression on his face sucked the breath from her lungs and set her heart racing. The desire to know what was motivating him where she was concerned was overcoming her, not fear exactly, but concern of the potential pitfalls. She still wasn't sure she was ready to know what was contained in future Lucy's journal, it had to be something about their future relationship, but she was starting to think that she was ready to explore whatever this thing was between them in the present.

To herself she could admit that Garcia had always fascinated her. While he had done horrible things resulting in the loss of innocent lives, she knew he was haunted by those actions. Still, there was something compelling about a man so in love that he was willing to do anything, risk anyone, to get back his wife and child. Probably a remnant of her teenage preoccupation with the tall, tragic, brooding heroes in the romance novels that she still occasionally read. _Wouldn't Jamie have done_ _anything, given everything, to get Claire back?_ Which brought her back to her main concern, Lorena and Iris. What if the team did manage to get them back? She was ready to admit that she was attracted, _okay very attracted,_ to Garcia. But she wasn't sure she was ready to chance getting burned again if Lorena and Iris came back and he chose them. Twice Garcia had told her that he would walk away. She had believed him then. She believed that he meant it now, but there was a big difference in considering what you would do in a hypothetical situation and doing it when actually in the situation. Time was a bitch, at least where her love life was concerned. But, Garcia was not Wyatt. She knew it wasn't fair to judge him based on Wyatt's actions. Since joining the team, Garcia had always placed her and her feelings first.

She looked back down. Garcia was stirring again. Lines of pain more evident on his face now. She glanced over at the clock. Almost time for them to be up. God the night had been too short. But they needed to get started on the modifications to the Lifeboat and the plan to get Rufus back. Making a decision, Lucy leaned over and placed a light kiss on Garcia's lips. "I'll be right back."

XXXXXXXXXX

Lucy staggered into the bunker's kitchen in search of coffee. She had already stopped by their "medical clinic" for a bottle of pain relievers and caffeine was just what she needed to wash them down. She and Garcia both shared a love of and need for caffeine in the morning. She was planning on grabbing two cups of coffee and returning to Garcia's room. She felt like hell. Muscles in her body that she didn't even know existed hurt. She didn't even want to think about what she must look like. And she hadn't been shot. If this was how she felt, how bad was he going to feel.

"Hey, thought you might want these."

Lucy was shocked at the sight of future Lucy, journal Lucy, because they had to be the same person, standing in front the coffee maker holding out two large cups of coffee to her.

"I, um, thanks." Exactly what did one say when they were talking to their future self? A self that more than likely knew the answers to all of the questions she had just been debating.

"A bit weird huh?" Future Lucy offered her a big smile. Did she become a morning person? There was no way that could happen.

"That's putting it mildly."

"I remember how much that hurt. And you're right, he will definitely want the pain pills." Future Lucy laughed at the look she got from her younger self before continuing. "Relax, I'm not going to tell you anything important. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that a man who's just been shot is going to want some pain meds. And we'll have plenty of time for you to ask me questions later. It's going to take at least a week to make the modifications we need to your Lifeboat. You might want to start heading back now."

"Okay. Again, thanks. And, I'm sure I will have questions."

She turned and headed slowly back towards Garcia's room. She had just reached the door when future Lucy called out to her.

"Don't worry about how you look. Trust me, it doesn't matter to him."

She stopped, almost turned, but just shrugged her shoulders and continued on down the hallway.

XXXXXXXXXXX

Garcia was sitting up on the side of the bed with a worried look on his face when Lucy walked back into the room. It appeared that he had been about to jump up and head out to look for her which he was clearly in no shape to do. He looked like he was in agony but his shoulders relaxed and some of the tension left his face as soon as he saw her.

"I hoped you'd get a little more sleep. I wanted to be back before you woke up. I thought you could probably use some caffeine and more pain meds."

Lucy attempted to give him a smile but winced as the cuts and bruises on her face reminded her of their presence. She couldn't interpret the look he gave her so she hurried over and sat down on the bed facing him. She placed her cup on the floor and handed Garcia his cup before shaking out a couple of pills and handing them to him.

"These should help. I'd ask how you're feeling but I think I can guess." He looked like he was about to protest but she cut him off. "Nope. Pills first then everything else. I've already had mine."

"Alright draga." He swallowed the pills, set his coffee cup on the floor next to hers and then pulled her forward and placed a light kiss on her lips. "Thank you for taking care of me. I appreciate it"

"It's not a problem. You do it for me often enough. I just hope I didn't make anything worse last night."

The hand in her hair tightened lightly at the back of her neck and he gave an exasperated sigh. "Lucy, you didn't hurt me. If anything I slept better because you were beside me."

She shifted back enough that she could meet his eyes. "Good, because I know I slept better with you beside me too."

Garcia's smile lit up the room. He felt warmth spread throughout his body. Just hearing that she felt like he made some portion of her life better filled him with hope. Maybe he really hadn't lost her to Wyatt. Although the way future Lucy was with future Wyatt? They were so comfortable with each other that they had to be together. _No. Not going to do that. She's here with you now. Focus on that._

"Can I ask you something?" Lucy was back to looking shy. She was hiding behind the dark curtain of her hair and kept flicking little glances up at him and fidgeting with the blanket.

He wondered just what it was that she wanted to know. What had her looking so shy. He would tell her anything. For her, he would be an open book. He pushed her hair back from her face and caressed her cheek below the bruising. "Always, draga moja."

God he loved her smile. Cheesy though it was, knowing that he caused that smile made him feel like the king of the world. His answering smile was loving and encouraging. "Ask me anything."

"In Chinatown, what was it that you were going to say? Why are you here?"

He took a deep breath and slowly let it out. "Are you sure you want to know?"

Lucy gave a shaky laugh. "Yeah. I'm not quite ready to ask about future Lucy's journal. Which makes her being here extra weird, but yeah, I want to know. Very much so."

Garcia leaned forward and cupped her face with his good hand and looked deep into her eyes. "You. I'm here for you. I stay for you."

He dropped his defenses and let her see all of him. The pain and brokenness that he had felt after Rittenhouse destroyed his life. The loneliness that he has felt ever since that night. All of the longing, desire, and love that he feels for her. The hope that he might be able to have this one thing, this one good thing that has transformed his vengeance filled existence and the fear that she might not want that. Might not want him.

"I love you Lucy. I don't know exactly when it started but I am so in love with you. I was intrigued by you that first night when you gave me your journal. Every day since then your words have lived with me. The woman in the journal left me in awe of her strength, her intellect, her compassion, and her continued ability to hope even when everything had fallen apart around her. Then, when I met you again in 1937, I was struck by your grace and beauty. By your ability to challenge and fight me even though you were clearly terrified of me."

He gave a bitter laugh at that and his smile turned slightly rueful. Another deep breath to steady himself and he continued on, baring his soul before her and offering her every piece of him. All the little broken parts that she had miraculously glued back together.

"You started haunting my dreams after that. Every time I saw you, every mission, I learned something new about you. I added to the pieces of you that I kept tucked away in my mind. At first it angered me. It just made me more driven to save Lorena and Iris. I refused to let myself feel anything or be sidetracked from my goal but then you stopped me from killing Jonathan Rittenhouse. You told me there was a way back from the path that I was on. After that I prayed. For the first time in years, I asked God to show me the way and he led me to you."

Lucy hung on his every word, tears streaming down her face as this strong man opened up his heart to her.

"Ljubavi, it's you. You are all I see when I close my eyes. You're my reason for being here. For continuing this fight. I'm yours for whatever you need and I'm not going anywhere. You don't have to say anything. I know you don't love me yet and that's okay. I can't begin to imagine what you're feeling after everything that has gone on. Just know that I will be to you whatever you allow. Whatever you want. I've told you this so many times in Croatian, but I promised myself when I held you in that Godforsaken warehouse in San Francisco that I would tell you in English, so you would know, and that I would let that be enough."

Lucy reached up and wiped tears that he hadn't known he was shedding from Garcia's face. She leaned forward to brush his lips with hers. She poured all the feelings that were rushing through her at his words into that kiss. When she pulled back she met his eyes and dropped all her shields. Let him see the jumble of emotions she was experiencing. Let him see her awe that he chose her. That he had placed her first. Finally, when she felt like she had a bit of control over her thoughts, she spoke.

"Garcia, I don't know exactly what this thing is between us but I want to explore it. At the moment you are the one person that I feel like I can be myself around. That I can let you see all the different parts of me, both good and bad. I feel most at home here in your room or anywhere that you are."

She leaned forward again and gave him a long lingering kiss. A kiss that spoke of desire and hope and future.

"I can't say I love you yet but I think that I could love you. That I'm a good way there already. I don't know how but you've … you're…"

When she couldn't continue Garcia pulled her to him. Kiss after kiss rained down on her head and he rubbed her back in soothing circles.

"It's okay draga moja. I can wait. You've already given me more than I ever dared to hope for."

They held each other for what seemed like forever, coffee grown cold and long since forgotten at their feet. Each trying to adjust to the changes the morning had brought them. Finally Lucy reached out and grabbed his hand. Raised it to her mouth for a tender kiss.

"So we face the future together." It was a statement not a question.

Garcia's kiss set her body alight with need before he released her to speak. "Together" he confirmed.

Lucy snuggled back into him. Her voice soft and wistful. "I wish we could just stay here in our own little world forever."

His laugh was joyful, none of his usual sarcasm present. "Me too, ljubavi. Me too. But we have to get Rufus back."


	13. Together

Together

He could feel her reluctance the closer they got to the kitchen. Each step was slower and slower until he felt like he was leading her to the edge of a precipice and asking her to jump. Lucy was drawing back into herself and thinking so loudly that he was beginning to get a headache. He didn't blame her. He had his own reasons for not wanting to come face to face with future Lucy and the bearded one and he wasn't the one that would literally be looking at his future self. Still, he couldn't stand this. It felt like she was retreating from him even though he knew she was just anxious about what they would hear. He had to do something to stop her thoughts from spiraling into a panic attack.

"Garcia?" She looked up at him in puzzlement, confused as to why he had stopped their forward motion.

He gave no explanation, just gently pushed her into the wall, gathered her in his arms, and kissed the hell out of her. It went on and on until she was making that little mewling noise in the back of her throat that he loved so much. Kiss after kiss, he lost himself in her until the bunker disappeared. There was only Lucy rubbing against his body and making erotic noises that he would now hear every time he closed his eyes. His good hand found its it's way under her shirt until he was cupping her breast. His thumb caressed her nipple to a stiff hard peak. Her hips writhed against the thigh that he had inserted between her legs. She was turning to fire in his arms and he wanted nothing more than to let himself be consumed. He needed …

The hum of the overhead ventilators kicking on registered somewhere in the back of his mind. _Hallway. They were in the hallway._ They were both panting when he pulled away and rested his forehead on hers and simply surrounded her. God, she was so responsive. He could feel her body vibrating with need against his and all he wanted to do was dive back in. _Focus._ _Meeting. You can do this._ With extreme effort he marshalled his thoughts and tilted her face up to his.

"Draga, look at me." _Fuck._ Her eyes had gone nearly black with desire. _Rufus. She needs him back. You both need to be in that meeting._ "It's okay. I know you're anxious but I'm going to be right next to you. Nothing will hurt you. Understand?"

She let out a long shuddering breath and nodded her head. "Thank you. I just got caught up in my own mind. Just …"

"Together. That's how we're going to do this. You don't have to worry about anything you see in there. The future is what we make it." _Yep, just keep telling yourself that lover boy._ He had very little restraint remaining, it was costing him almost everything not to lead her back to his, _their,_ room so they could spend the rest of the day lost in each other. He used the last of it to silence his inner self doubt. Lucy needed him to focus so they could work on getting Rufus back and that's what he would do.

She nodded again. Another quick kiss and they were on their way. He kept her tucked into his side as they entered the kitchen and the look on his face dared anyone to comment on it. They were all there, huddled around one of the tables, with the exception of present day Wyatt. Garcia really couldn't be bothered to give a fuck where the younger man was. He rather hoped the soldier didn't appear as one Wyatt Logan at the table was plenty.

As he helped Lucy into her seat he could feel future Wyatt's gaze burning into him. Garcia met the other man's stare and pulled his chair as close to Lucy's as humanly possible. Keeping eye contact, he draped his good arm over the back of her seat. _Mine._ No other commentary was necessary.

"Where's your evil twin?"

That earned him a hard glance and a pinch on his thigh from Lucy.

The bearded one considered him for a moment before replying. "If memory serves, I believe he's holed up in his room with a bottle of whiskey. At this point he's not gonna be in any state to add much to the proceedings so let's get started. The less time we spend here the better."

"Okay, Conner and Jiya, these are the plans from your future selves for the upgrades to your lifeboat. They seemed to think it would take you a week, maybe two to make the changes." Future Lucy took charge and passed over a complex set of diagrams, notes, and coding instructions. "Take a look and see if there's anything you need. I really hope you don't have a lot of questions because Wyatt and I aren't going to be a lot of help with that."

Jiya raised he head to look at them all for the first time. "Yeah, about that. Why didn't one of us just come back with you to make the changes. Surely that would have been easier."

"We discussed it." Future Lucy's gaze was sympathetic as she regarded the younger woman. "Neither you or Connor could face coming back here. One of the reasons it took us so long to come back was because you wanted to get the design perfect and make your instructions as clear as possible so that neither of you would have to."

While Lucy had been speaking, Connor had scribbled a list of items down. "Jiya, anything else you want to add?"

After a few minutes of looking at the list and plans, Jiya added a few more items. She passed the list to Agent Christopher for perusal.

"I should be able to have most of this here by the end of today. There are a couple of items that will take me a bit longer but this is doable."

"Good. Timeframe seem okay?" Future Lucy was back to glancing between Connor and Jiya.

"Probably closer to the two week mark but yes, Jiya and I should be able to manage this." Connor visibly brightened now that he had a purpose. Rufus had always been like a son to Connor and he was filled with energy now that there was hope that they could get him back.

"We don't think Emma and Jessica know that we are here. Future you managed to disable the tracker on the Lifeboat while still allowing us to be alerted to any jump by the Mothership but time is of the essence here. The longer we remain the greater the risk that they discover us. Next up, I don't know how much Jessica saw of the bunker on her way in but you need to assume this location is compromised and find a new safehouse."

Agent Christopher nodded. "Already in the works. We should be ready to move tomorrow morning. That means at least a portion of today needs to be spent packing and resting for those of you that are injured." Denise turned a motherly eye on Lucy and Garcia at the last bit. He nodded, message understood.

"Good. Wyatt, I am trusting you to inform your younger self of the move and see that he's ready to go."

This time Christopher's look was for future Wyatt. Garcia didn't think that Christopher was running interference for him exactly, more like making sure Lucy wouldn't be bothered with either version of Wyatt. Either way, he was grateful. Pain pills notwithstanding, he felt like hell and he was pretty sure his draga did as well. All he wanted to do was curl up with her in his arms and sleep for the next few days. Well, not all he wanted to do, but all he would be doing until they were both a little more healed.

Garcia turned to future Lucy and met her stare head on trying to convey a deeper meaning than the words that he spoke. "Perhaps we should leave it there for today. I think we will all have plenty to occupy ourselves with getting ready to leave this hell hole."

Future Lucy considered him for a moment before slowly nodding her agreement. Somehow she had read and understood both his unspoken demand for her to give his Lucy some space and his plea for more time. He didn't know, didn't want to know, how much time he would have with his ljubavi and he just wanted some moments of relative peace with her.

"Yes, I think that would be good. Getting moved to a new safehouse and getting both of you back to full strength is our first priority."

Everyone stood and started to go about their assigned tasks. Future Wyatt headed off in the direction of his old room while future Lucy went with Jiya and Connor to work on packing up the control room. Agent Christopher was on her phone before she was even out of the kitchen and then he and Lucy were alone once again. She turned and gave him a smile and lead him back to his room.

XXXXXXXXXX

Garcia pulled Lucy closer to him and enjoyed the soft smile that she gave and the way she snuggled against him in her sleep. They were finally packed. Lucy had been a whirlwind of energy, boxing up both of their belongings and bossily ordering him to do nothing more strenuous than fold his sweaters and take a nap. She took care of him and it was nice. It had been so long since anyone had done that. _Thank you._ He offered up both heartfelt gratitude for this moment of peace and pleas that he would get to experience more moments like this one.

Tomorrow, it would be a new start. It would be their room officially in the new safehouse. He wasn't sure he would ever understand how Lucy saw him or why she wanted to be with him. How she could be so forgiving. He knew he shouldn't allow it but now that she was his, he would take everything that she was willing to give him. He wasn't going anywhere until he was dead or she told him to leave.


	14. New Beginnings

New Beginnings

They had been in the new safe house for two days. Garcia found it better than the hellhole of a bunker that they had just left for so many reasons. It was, at least partially, above ground, which was a huge improvement. Lucy was so much happier being able to see sunlight and step outside for some fresh air. When he thought about how much courage it had to have taken her to remain in that bunker for months on end given how claustrophobic she was he was amazed by her strength of will. He had only witnessed Lucy experiencing one panic attack but that was an experience that he never wanted to have again. After that he had tried to be extra careful about not boxing her in or overwhelming her with his size. He would never forgive himself if he was the cause of an attack.

Then there was theirroom. _Their_ room. With a bed, not some sad excuse of a cot that was fifty years old and made for midgets. Sleeping in an actual bed again was delightful; sleeping in a bed with Lucy, despite the fact that they were doing little more than sleeping at the moment, was heaven. Waking up to find her beautiful face on the pillow beside him was a dream he never thought to see fulfilled. Feeling her next to him, hearing her heartbeat, helped calm his ever present nightmares. The tone of the dreams had changed over the last few months. Now, it was more often than not Lucy he saw, not Lorena and Iris. It was getting better but, since Chinatown, everytime he closed his eyes he saw Emma with her hand around Lucy's throat and he was too late. Every last time he was too fucking late. At least last night he didn't think he'd woken her when he jolted awake, heart threatening to beat out of his chest, fear coursing through his veins. Just seeing her next to him wasn't enough, he'd had to pull her practically on top of himself and hold her there for the rest of the night. Even then he still hadn't been able to fall back to sleep. Just laid there with her in his arms and tried to comfort himself with the rhythm of her heart beating against his. God he loved her. He couldn't survive losing her. He would have nothing left to go on for, nothing to hold the darkness in check. It would kill him. _You know what you have to do._

Damn voice. He really didn't want to do this but knew that there was no choice. It was something that he'd been thinking about ever since they got back from Chinatown. The arrival of future Lucy and Wyatt with their shiny new Lifeboat had only solidified that decision. With a sigh he sat up and rubbed a hand over his face. Lucy had gotten up about an hour ago to help Agent Christopher set up her office but had told him to try to get some more sleep. Perhaps he wasn't as good at hiding the nightmares as he thought. _Fuck. Just get it over with._ Resigned to his fate, he stood and grabbed clean clothes and his shower kit. If he was going to have this conversation his was damn well going to shower first.

XXXXXXXXXX

He found future Wyatt in the kitchen helping himself to a large cup of coffee. The soldier looked like hell. Apparently he wasn't the only one not sleeping. Garcia stood and watched Wyatt for a few minutes and wondered where his present day counterpart was. _Thankfully not here._ Present day Wyatt would not make this conversation any better and Garcia would prefer that no-one else knew that this conversation ever took place. Reminding himself that it wouldn't get any easier the longer he put it off, he squared his shoulders and stepped into the kitchen.

"Got a minute."

The bearded one just looked at him and shrugged his shoulders. WIth that minimal amount of encouragement, Garcia moved to the coffee pot and poured himself a large cup, wished it were vodka, considered adding some alcohol and then decided against it. He was a grown man and could handle an uncomfortable conversation without alcohol. Probably.

"I need to ask you for a favor."

Well that got Wyatt's attention. With an expression that was equal parts curiosity, reluctance, and amusement, the soldier sat down.

"You know I can't tell you anything right?" The beard did very little to hide future Wyatt's smirk and Garcia regretted not adding booze to his coffee while he had the chance. Still, he'd be damned if he let this scruffy future rambo make him go back for alcohol.

"Yeah. I know." Garcia's voice was short and clipped. _Don't be an asshole he reminded himself._ "Look, I don't want to know. Really I don't. I'm just enjoying the present that I have with her. That's not the favor."

Wyatt lost the amused expression at the reminder that Lucy was with Garcia despite the declaration of love made by his younger self. Garcia couldn't quite regret the small bit of satisfaction he felt on seeing Wyatt reminded of who Lucy was with. It was petty, but he couldn't really bring himself to regret that venial sin when he had committed so many mortal ones.

"So then what is it?" Wyatt's voice remained civil, barely.

"You never saw Emma beating the hell out of Lucy, I did. She was choking Lucy when I got there and Lucy was weakening. If I arrived a few moments later it would have been too late. You remember how out of it Lucy was when we got back. You see how bruised she still is. I don't ever want Lucy in that situation again."

Wyatt appeared shaken by Garcia's description of Emma's assault on Lucy. "Neither do I. I've always kept Lucy safe. I don't want her hurt any more than you do."

Garcia took a deep breath at this. There were so many things that he could say right now. So many things that he wanted to say, starting with the fact that Lucy would never have been in that situation if Wyatt hadn't brought Jessica to the bunker. _Not the way to get what you want. Keep calm._

"I know. Just like we both know that Emma will never stop targeting Lucy. I'm asking you to work with her on self defense and weapons training. We didn't get very far with that before Chinatown and it's not something I can do right now," Garcia frustratedly gestured towards the arm that was in a sling. "Agent Christopher's too busy, and there's no way in hell I'm letting your mini me anywhere near her. I'd wait until I'm healed but I want her to be better prepared when we go back to save Rufus." Garcia paused and looked directly at Wyatt. "I know you don't like me and I'm aware that I'm not good enough for her. Neither of us are, but we both want the same thing here, which is to keep Lucy safe."

Wyatt looked at Garcia with something bordering on respect. He couldn't imagine what it had cost the other man to ask him for a favor. He had a fairly good idea of what was running through Garcia's head since he and future Lucy arrived. It was the same thing that always ran through his head anytime he watched Lucy and Garcia together. And he couldn't blame the man. Truth be told, Wyatt didn't want his younger self anywhere near Lucy, either of them. God he had been a mess back then. Still occasionally was but he was better, Lucy and the rest of the team had helped him find his way.

"I can do that. Do you want to talk to her first."

"I will. I appreciate it." Garcia hesitated for a moment but decided to risk it. There was one more favor that he had to ask of this man. "Wyatt, I don't want to know why I didn't come back with you, but I can't ever imagine a time when I wouldn't be by her side or let her face danger without me. I can see you care for her. Please, just keep her safe if there is a day where I am not there to do it."

Garcia and Wyatt regarded each other in silence. The look on the soldier's face was one of compassion and understanding and oddly regret. Garcia could tell that Wyatt had done some maturing as well. They would probably never be friends, God knew he couldn't imagine having this conversation with present day Wyatt ever, but perhaps he and future Wyatt could be allies in this one thing.

Wyatt looked as if he wanted to say something but stopped himself. Finally the soldier nodded and said solemnly "You have my word. I will always protect her. Do you want to get Lucy now and we can get started"

"Yeah, I'll go find her. Thank you." He got up and headed off in the direction of Agent Christopher's office.

Future Lucy wandered in and saw Wyatt at the table and Garcia leaving the room. Apprehension was evident in her voice as she asked Wyatt "Everything okay here?"

Wyatt's eyes were warm and steady as he regarded Lucy. "We're good. I'm going to start teaching younger you some self defense moves and how to shoot. He wants to make sure you're as safe as can be when we go back for Rufus. He really loves you."

"Yeah, he does." A soft smile graced her face as she continued to stare at Garcia's retreating form. Regret and longing moved over her face, feelings that she was unable to hide from this man that knew her so well.

"Lucy, you've got to tell him. You agreed." Wyatt's look was both sympathetic and exasperated. He understood her reluctance but he honestly felt that this would be for the best.

"I know, I do. But are we sure it's going to help? I don't want to cause problems for them. He loves her and she doesn't know it yet but she's in love with him. I just am not sure how to or when the best time would be."

"We discussed it and he needs to know. You'll save her and hopefully yourself some fallout. You don't have to do it today but do it before we leave." Wyatt tried to be encouraging. To offer his support so that she would have a conversation that he knew would be difficult for her. Since Chinatown, when he had confessed his love, he had vowed to put Lucy and her happiness first. Tough though it would be, he felt that this was the best way to ensure that happiness. "You know what happened in our timeline. I really think this will help."

Lucy sighed. "I will. God help me but I will."


	15. When I Touch You

When I Touch You

It had been hours since Garcia Flynn had seen Lucy Preston. She had left him, hard, aching, and desperately needing to bury himself deep inside her, after a very passionate makeout session. It had helped, _only slightly,_ that her groan of frustration was just as fervent as his when they had been interrupted by a knock on the door of their room earlier that morning. Future Wyatt, _damn him,_ had just as impeccable timing as his younger counterpart. Lucy was starting to heal, her bruises not gone but significantly faded and her ribs were giving her less problems. He knew her mobility and strength and range of motion were returning. Future Wyatt had kept him updated on the progress of their training sessions. As for himself, he was healing, he had enough use of his right arm that he felt he could use both hands to caress her body when they finally made love. And if it didn't happen soon he might as well go outside and howl at the moon like the crazy man that he was becoming. Christ, he didn't think he had been this consumed with thoughts of sex back when he was a horny teenager. There were times he felt like he couldn't continue to breathe if he didn't feel her skin against his.

He thought that they were both ready. Not physically, they had long ago passed that point, but emotionally. She hadn't yet said the words, but he was pretty sure that he saw love in her eyes when she looked at him. _God, please don't let me be wrong on this._ He was so ass deep in love with her that he would never recover. Truth be told, he never wanted to recover. He hadn't lied when he told Lucy that she was all he saw. Awake or in dreams, his mind was filled with images of her. He still struggled with the fact that he was in no way good enough for her. If the universe had any sense of karmic justice he wouldn't even be able to look upon her from afar much less be able to hold her in his arms and kiss her. He couldn't believe that she was with him, felt like he was living in a dream, but he thanked God for it. Lucy was his miracle. He felt that they were both ready for the intimacy of being lovers but if this, what he currently had with her, was all she was ever comfortable with, he would die a happy man. _Or perhaps a very frustrated one. Would Wyatt always be nearby to interrupt their every moment? Perhaps that was his curse._

Garcia wanted her as safe as she could be and right now that meant her training with the bearded one, so rather than telling Wyatt to 'fuck off' like he'd wanted, he had given her one last lingering kiss and let her crawl from their bed. He spent his own morning with a doctor's appointment, physical therapy exercises, and a planning session with Future Lucy. The went over different plans and scenarios to save Rufus and tried to figure out how to divide the group into effective smaller teams. He saw his Lucy briefly during a very uncomfortable team meeting. _Fucking Wyatt._ The junior version this time. Future Wyatt seemed to want to spend as little time as possible with his present day self. Definitely points in his favor in Garcia's humble opinion, because present day Wyatt was, in the polietest of terms, a shitshow. He was drinking a bit less but the soldier was so deeply mired in pain, anger, and self-loathing that it was miserable to be around him.

His day continued with several hours spent at their makeshift gun range working to increase his ability to shoot left handed. He was good and improving and he could, with smaller weapons, shoot a bit with his right hand. Still, if he didn't get a lot better, he was going to have to pair Lucy with Future Wyatt on the mission to save Rufus. He would not take chances with her safety and, much as he didn't like it, the bearded one was currently in a better position to protect her than he was. Besides, if Agent Christopher gave the green light for his proposed secondary mission, and he was considering moving ahead even if she didn't, Future Wyatt would be safer for Lucy. He was a big boy. He could handle teaming Lucy up with the soldier from the future. _You just keep telling yourself that._ As he had done several times that day, he told the little voice in his head to shut up. He refused to let his ego get in the way. In this instance, his personal preferences meant nothing, her safety was all that was important. Not that he was looking forward to having that conversation with her, because he very much wasn't, but there was no way in hell he would pair Lucy with himself if he wasn't at one-hundred percent. And there was definitely no chance, in heaven or in hell, that he would pair her up with a present day Wyatt. After everything Garcia didn't that trust the man.

Which brought him to the reason that he hadn't seen Lucy at all, not even in passing, for the last several hours. His 'discussion' with Agent Christopher. Present day Wyatt didn't know it but Garcia was trying to help him. Well okay, his main goal was to minimize the risk to the team caused by the soldier's stupidity and conflicted loyalties. The fact that he would be helping Wyatt was secondary. And honestly, he did have some sympathy for Wyatt. Iris was still an open wound on his battered heart. He couldn't imagine the pain of knowing that he was to be a father and then be kept from any information on the pregnancy and the birth. With Iris he had been at every doctor's appointment, every ultrasound, and in the delivery room. Garcia knew he had driven Lorena half mad with his excitement and anxiety. God willing, he would one day do the same with Lucy. He locked that thought down tight before those dreams went any further. He had three goals right now. Keep Lucy safe, save Rufus, and allow Wyatt the chance to know his child.

Agent Denise Christopher wanted no part of letting Jessica Logan anywhere near her team again. There was that old saying 'fool me once shame on you, fool me twice …' well she wanted no shame on any part of her. 

"Flynn, what the hell are you thinking? Did you forget what happened the last time we let Mrs. Logan in?" Agent Christopher's face matched the incredulous tone of her voice.

She clearly thought he was crazy. Fine. He would just have to convince her. "No I haven't. But, can you honestly tell me that you one hundred percent trust Wyatt not to do something stupid, something that puts the team at risk, to protect her and the baby? Can you look me in the eye and say that?"

Arms crossed over his chest, he leaned back against the wall and tried for a relaxed pose and failed. He held himself rigid, tension evident in the lines of his body, and fixed Agent Christopher with a pointed stare and let the silence between them just hang. After several pointed moments of non-conversation he uttered "I didn't think so."

"Fine, I don't trust Wyatt. But I trust him a hell of a lot more than I trust Jessica or Emma." Christopher's expression made it clear that she would concede the battle on trusting Wyatt but not the war of letting Jessica into their new safe house.

"My point exactly. Jessica and her unborn child are one gigantic weapon. It might not have occurred to her yet, but once it does, Emma will use their safety as a bargaining chip with Wyatt."

A look of horror was slowly overtook Denise's face as the truth of his words hit home. "Oh God, you're right. Emma wouldn't hesitate. Hell, Jessica might even suggest it to manipulate Wyatt and gain information. I doubt she realizes that Emma would have no scruples about going through with any threats made toward Jessica or the baby." She sighed and couldn't keep the tiredness from her voice as she continued. "And Wyatt would do anything to keep them safe. He might hate himself but he'd do it."

"And I wouldn't blame him." He laughed bitterly at the shock written all over Agent Christopher's face. "What, do you think I'm such a bastard that I'd let an innocent child be harmed by that self proclaimed Rittenbitch?" He thought that he had reached an understanding with this woman the night she found him watching Lucy as she slept on the couch. Believed that, while they weren't friends, she, at the very least, trusted him. Stung, he told himself that Lucy's opinion was the only one that mattered but it didn't change the fact that it hurt.

"No, I don't think you're a bastard at all. I'm pretty sure I'm just starting to realize how deeply you can love and that despite any protestations on your part, you care for the rest of the team."

 _Well fuck._ He was stunned. Was he really that obvious? She laughed. Actually laughed at him.

"Did you really think that we" at his look she rolled her eyes and modified the statement "Okay Jiya and I, don't know how much you love Lucy? However, that doesn't change the fact that I thought you hated Wyatt."

God he really hated explaining himself. It was hard enough to express his thoughts and feelings to Lucy and they were intimately involved. He wasn't completely sure he understood his motivation on this much less be able to try to explain it to someone else. "I don't exactly … hate Future Wyatt. Yes, the less said about his present day counterpart the better but Lucy still cares for him and values his friendship though God knows why. I don't want her to worry about this… and, uh,...Wyatt deserves the chance to be a father to his child."

Agent Christopher fixed him with a warm smile before returning to business. "Okay, so we need to get Jessica away from Rittenhouse. How? When?"

They went round and round for hours. Both felt that the sooner they could separate Jessica from Emma and Rittenhouse the better but they couldn't agree on when. Christopher thought it was too risky to try it when they went back for Rufus. Garcia felt that with the extra firepower brought by Future Lucy and Future Wyatt, this would be the best time to attempt to take Jessica. Finally they agreed, Rufus was the primary mission but if he got the chance, he would kidnap Jessica and bring her back. Where they would keep her was a different story. Tomorrow Agent Christopher would start setting up a secure holding cell somewhere in the underground portion of the safe house.

Given the missions dual objectives, they decided the best teams would be Future Wyatt with Lucy and Jiya and him with Future Lucy and present day Wyatt. _Stupid idiot._ He and Future Lucy would talk tomorrow and see how their current plan could be modified or if she had any suggestions on how to accomplish his secondary task. He really had no idea how that conversation would go. He had avoided the warrior woman who had given him her innermost thoughts as much as possible, partially because his Lucy was the only thing that he could see, but mostly because of how she arrived and his fear of what she would tell him of the future. He had no idea how Jessica's pregnancy played out for Future Lucy and Wyatt but he had a feeling that the discussion that he would have with her tomorrow would tell him far more about the future than he wanted to know.

XXXXXXXXXX

Garcia paused outside his door. He needed a minute to let go off his plans, all of the discussions he'd had that day, and all of his fears for the future. He would not take that into their room, into their sanctuary. There was no way he would burden Lucy with that. Inside their room, as much as possible with the ghosts that haunted them, it was just the two of them. He wanted to enter, drag her onto the bed, wrap himself around her, and, _please God no interruptions this time_ , bury himself deep inside her. Slightly breathless from the thought, he entered the room and was struck dumb. She was sitting on the bed wearing his favorite sweater and, judging from the position of her body, little else. He momentarily questioned whether or not he should tell her about his secondary mission before they made love but seeing her drove all other thoughts out of his mind. The look of longing on her face sent fire racing through his veins and then she smiled. _Fuck!_ That smile. If he had wanted her before, it was nothing compared to how he wanted her after that smile. It was a smile full of sultry promises and sensual pleasures.

"Garcia." She lifted a hand and crooked a finger beckoning him to the bed.

His mouth was suddenly dry as the sahara. He had to swallow several times before he could force any words from his throat. "Draga moja... ljubavi."

She was so fucking beautiful it hurt. His words caused her a light blush to stain her cheeks but her smile got even brighter. Then she was in his arms and his mouth was on hers. _Please God no interruptions tonight._ His last coherent thought was that he would murder anyone who interrupted them for anything other than a full scale Rittenhouse invasion of their new location. After that it was just Lucy.

Her lips moved frantically over his as his hands found their way under the sweater and found only Lucy. He marvelled at the silkiness of her skin as he dragged her onto his lap and deepened their kiss. One hand cupped a breast as his mouth made its way slowly down her neck, pausing to nip at her jawline and then lingered at a particularly sensitive spot that he discovered at the base of her throat. Lucy's smile and low purr expressed her enjoyment.

Vaguely he wondered about the sound proofing in the bedrooms. It had to be better than the cavernous echoing bunker right? But then Lucy shifted her legs and rocked her core against him and he decided he really didn't give a damn. His hands pulled her even tighter against him as he pushed up against her creating the sweetest type of friction.

"Garcia." His name was a long drawn out moan. Her hands disappeared from underneath his short and his answering groan protested the loss. Evidently Lucy had other ideas because suddenly the sweater was off and she was naked. A fully clothed Lucy Preston was a beautiful thing but there were absolutely no words, in any language, to describe the perfection of her unclothed form. The graceful line of her collarbone, the peaked dusky rose nipples that crowned her gently rounded breasts, the dip of her waist and the curve of her hips all called out for the touch of his hand and the brush of his lips.

"Lijep." He paused and tortured them both as he drank in the sight before him. Every cell in his body was screaming at him to tear off his clothing and bury himself into her warmth but there would be time for speed later, not now, not this first time. This first time he wanted to go slow and savor every last second. He was going to cover every inch of her skin with kisses and feel her come apart on his fingers and again on his tongue. Only then would he allow himself to enter her.

"Savrsen."

"Garcia," she locked her eyes on his and rocked her hips "touch me."

God he loved it when her voice took on that breathy tone. And it became his new mission in life to make her repeat the sound she made when he drew her nipple into his mouth. A quick graze of his teeth and she made it again. He laid her gently back on the bed to better explore her body. "Moja draga ti si tako seksi." Each word was punctuated with a kiss.

He captured her hands and drew them over her head cuffing her wrists with one of his large hands. As he sucked her breast back into his mouth his other hand moved lower and he felt the muscles in her flat abdomen ripple at his touch.

He raised his head, green eyes heavy with desire, and looked at her as he ran his fingers up her inner thigh, over her hip, and back down her thigh. "Zelim toliko" he told her. Her mind might not understand his words, English was beyond him at the moment, but her body knew. She nodded her head yes, arched and shuddered, moving to offer herself more fully to his mouth and hand. With infinite care he mapped her body, exploring her as he would a new continent. Her eyes were closed and she was lost in sensation as his hand moved in circles, drawing closer but never touching the area she wanted him most to explore.

"Please." She opened her eyes and looked at him want evident on her face. "I need…"

Lightly he drew his fingers over her center ripping a moan from her. He circled her opening before teasing her entrance with one finger. Lucy shifted her hips and that finger was suddenly buried in her wet heat. "Jebota." Her answering cry had no words but left him in no doubt that she enjoyed the feeling just as much as he did. His dick ached to be free from the restraints of his clothing. He found himself rubbing against her thigh in time with the rhythm he set with his finger.

He added a second finger as his thumb rotated over her clit. He wasn't sure if she was aware of the sounds she was making but he treasured them. His chest expanded with a sense of pride that she would let him touch her this way. That he could make her feel this way and witness the emotions moving across her face. He could tell she was close. "Ljubavi." He moved his hand slightly causing his fingers to press against her g-spot as he increased the tempo and his thumb tapped out a matching rhythm on her clit. He leaned down and captured her mouth and she exploded. He kept his hand moving, drawing out her orgasm until she finally stilled.

"Mmmmm, wow." Her smile was one of sated bliss as she looked up at him. He could only imagine the look on his own face. He definitely had not gotten enough of Lucy.

She shifted and lightly pulled against the hand that still encircled her wrists. Instantly he let them go and was about to apologize when she cupped his cheeks and drew his head down for a kiss. One kissed turned into two then four. He lost count as her hands roamed his body over his clothing. She finally broke away as her hands moved down to pull up his shirt. "Why don't you let me…"

He gave her a last burning kiss before giving her a wicked smile. "I'm not done yet." His mouth followed the path taken by his hands and then he was using his shoulders to spread her thighs further apart. He looked up at her, taking the time to marvel at her beauty yet again. He would never grow tired of seeing her like this, open to him, so trusting, already undone by pleasure. His breath on her sent little shock waves through already sensitized skin.

"Please."

She didn't have to ask twice. Garcia lowered his head and set about making her scream his name. With her hands fisted in his hair she didn't disappoint.

He just stretched himself out above her, careful to keep most of his weight on his good arm and not her, when she hooked a leg over his hip and reversed their positions. She sat astride him smiling before pulling his arms over his head and leaning down to capture his mouth with hers. She took her time about it. God, could that woman kiss. When she eventually came up for air she just grinned down at him and said "My turn."

Lucy slowly stripped his clothing from him and then wrapped each of his hands around one of the slats in their headboard. "Don't move." That smile again. She was going to kill him. His heart already felt like it was going to beat right out of his chest. She brushed her lips against his skin and proceeded to make him lose his mind. By the time she finally sank down onto him, he had begged in English and Croatian, German, and several other languages. The look in her eyes as she moved on him was everything. It was that look that caused him to sit up and wrap his arms around her, large hands settling on her hips as he helped her ride him.

"Volim te. Volim te. Uvijek, volim te." He told her over and over as he placed kisses on her eyelids, her forehead, her nose, her mouth, and on the tears that rolled down her cheeks. "Lucy." Her name was a drawn out prayer as he felt her clench around him. He rocked up into her one last time and let himself go.

When he could think again, he pulled her back down into the bed so that she lay sprawled over him and pulled the blankets up. She shifted and wiggled until she could look at him and then kissed him tenderly.

"Garcia…"

"Sshh, ljubavi. I know. Tomorrow." He kissed her softly, almost reverently. "Close your eyes and rest."

She snuggled into him and did just that. He hadn't been sure exactly what he would feel afterwards. There had been no one since Lorena. He'd worried that he would feel guilty or like he was being unfaithful but there was none of that. Instead there was just peace, love, and Lucy. _Thank you. Let me be worthy of her. Let me keep her safe._ And with that prayer he closed his eyes and joined Lucy in sleep.


End file.
